How do you get away........
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 175
How do you get away........
How do you get away from someone that just doesn't get it? My husband keeps calling....crying and blah..blah..blah.. I'm so sick of hearing him I could scream. He called me this morning to ask if he could come over tonight to see the kids. First of all in the 1 1/2 we've been apart he's never called to just talk to or see the kids. I real reason is to see me. He is feeling scared because he's noticing that I've changed. I'm not the same old sap that I use to be. He could say he was sorry for anything and I would just say ok and forgive him. He could say things to make me feel quilty and to guestion myself but I'm not like that anymore. Sometimes I feel myself sliding back but then realize what's going on and I talk to myself so I'll realize what he's doing. He isn't use to me like this and he knows he's losing control and it scares the hell out of him.
I've been seeing this guy for about 8 months and at first I thought he was all that but now I see i'm going down that same old path so I broke up with him. I'm not going down that old path again. I'm going to make a new one. He is also very selfish and controling and he doesn't interact very much with my kids.
I find myself holding on to men because I'm scared to let go. I think I'm afraid I'll never find anyone to share my life with like I'll grow old by myself with no one to love.
Does that make any sense? Letting go is a big problem with me.
I missed my Al-anon meeting last night. I didn't have a babysitter. I really need to go more than one night a week. I feel so good and empowered when I go like I can do anything that I want to do because I have choices but as the week goes by I start sliding back. Is this normal when you first start going to these meetings?
Just having thoughts.....you guys are really great and so helpful. Thank all of you for your support.
Galnva
I've been seeing this guy for about 8 months and at first I thought he was all that but now I see i'm going down that same old path so I broke up with him. I'm not going down that old path again. I'm going to make a new one. He is also very selfish and controling and he doesn't interact very much with my kids.
I find myself holding on to men because I'm scared to let go. I think I'm afraid I'll never find anyone to share my life with like I'll grow old by myself with no one to love.
Does that make any sense? Letting go is a big problem with me.
I missed my Al-anon meeting last night. I didn't have a babysitter. I really need to go more than one night a week. I feel so good and empowered when I go like I can do anything that I want to do because I have choices but as the week goes by I start sliding back. Is this normal when you first start going to these meetings?
Just having thoughts.....you guys are really great and so helpful. Thank all of you for your support.
Galnva
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 175
Originally posted by helluvagalnva:
How do you get away from someone that just doesn't get it? My husband keeps calling....crying and blah..blah..blah.. I'm so sick of hearing him I could scream. He called me this morning to ask if he could come over tonight to see the kids. First of all in the 1 1/2 we've been apart he's never called just to talk too or see the kids. The real reason is to see me. He is feeling scared because he's noticing that I've changed. I'm not the same old sap that I use to be. He could say he was sorry for anything and I would just say ok and forgive him. He could say things to make me feel quilty and to make me guestion myself but I'm not like that anymore well, I try very hard not to be. Sometimes I feel myself sliding back but then realize what's going on and I'll talk to myself so I'll realize what he's doing. He isn't use to me like this and he knows he's losing control and it scares the hell out of him.
I've been seeing this guy for about 8 months and at first I thought he was all that but now I see i'm going down that same old path so I broke up with him. I'm not going down that old path again. I'm going to make a new one. He is also very selfish and controling and he doesn't interact very much with my kids.
I find myself holding on to men because I'm scared to let go. I think I'm afraid I'll never find anyone to share my life with like I'll grow old by myself with no one to love.
Does that make any sense? Letting go is a big problem with me.
I missed my Al-anon meeting last night. I didn't have a babysitter. I really need to go more than one night a week. I feel so good and empowered when I go like I can do anything that I want to do because I have choices but as the week goes by I start sliding back. Is this normal when you first start going to these meetings?
Just having thoughts.....you guys are really great and so helpful. Thank all of you for your support.
Galnva
How do you get away from someone that just doesn't get it? My husband keeps calling....crying and blah..blah..blah.. I'm so sick of hearing him I could scream. He called me this morning to ask if he could come over tonight to see the kids. First of all in the 1 1/2 we've been apart he's never called just to talk too or see the kids. The real reason is to see me. He is feeling scared because he's noticing that I've changed. I'm not the same old sap that I use to be. He could say he was sorry for anything and I would just say ok and forgive him. He could say things to make me feel quilty and to make me guestion myself but I'm not like that anymore well, I try very hard not to be. Sometimes I feel myself sliding back but then realize what's going on and I'll talk to myself so I'll realize what he's doing. He isn't use to me like this and he knows he's losing control and it scares the hell out of him.
I've been seeing this guy for about 8 months and at first I thought he was all that but now I see i'm going down that same old path so I broke up with him. I'm not going down that old path again. I'm going to make a new one. He is also very selfish and controling and he doesn't interact very much with my kids.
I find myself holding on to men because I'm scared to let go. I think I'm afraid I'll never find anyone to share my life with like I'll grow old by myself with no one to love.
Does that make any sense? Letting go is a big problem with me.
I missed my Al-anon meeting last night. I didn't have a babysitter. I really need to go more than one night a week. I feel so good and empowered when I go like I can do anything that I want to do because I have choices but as the week goes by I start sliding back. Is this normal when you first start going to these meetings?
Just having thoughts.....you guys are really great and so helpful. Thank all of you for your support.
Galnva
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
hey Gal
It sure sounds like you are being strong. I am sure everyone slides now and then. I think that knowing what you want and don't want, will help you make the right choices.
I have a meeting tonight and I know what you mean about them making you feel good. Last week I felt good when I left, peaceful.
You hang in there and remember to keep doing whats right for you!!
Take care.
Many hugs.
Love
Debbie
It sure sounds like you are being strong. I am sure everyone slides now and then. I think that knowing what you want and don't want, will help you make the right choices.
I have a meeting tonight and I know what you mean about them making you feel good. Last week I felt good when I left, peaceful.
You hang in there and remember to keep doing whats right for you!!
Take care.
Many hugs.
Love
Debbie
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Peoria, IL USA
Posts: 105
nva- I have told your before in a previous post that you are singing my life in your words. My exa still has no place to live. He floats between relatives. When I first gave him the boot I told him he could do visitations at the house and I would go stay the night with my sister or Mom. He said he preferred if I were there too. I had to explain that visitation was with the kids not me. Like that did any good. Another thing that really p@@@@@s my off is that I don't even get the relieve afforded of every other weekend not having to have food for the kids cause they are visiting their Dad. The few times he did, he showed up with a couple of tv dinners for himself and one bag of candy for the kids. Ogly can we borrow your biggest skillet about now?
I know the feeling of wanting to find someone. The one guy I thought I wanted to see is an invalidator and I refuse to settle this time. He had the nerve to call me a man hater at one point. I feel that I would not have such a sharp opinion if the one man I did love would not have turned out to be such a toad. I wanted to scream JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO PROVE I'M NOT, but then serenity kicked in and I realized he would not be a healthy partner either, so I said nothing. So I take Marvin for walks and just enjoy my time with the kids and myself and my good friends right now. My HP has not failed me yet and hopefully won't in the future. He will present the right relationship at the right time. I am getting myself better for that time.
I know the feeling of wanting to find someone. The one guy I thought I wanted to see is an invalidator and I refuse to settle this time. He had the nerve to call me a man hater at one point. I feel that I would not have such a sharp opinion if the one man I did love would not have turned out to be such a toad. I wanted to scream JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO PROVE I'M NOT, but then serenity kicked in and I realized he would not be a healthy partner either, so I said nothing. So I take Marvin for walks and just enjoy my time with the kids and myself and my good friends right now. My HP has not failed me yet and hopefully won't in the future. He will present the right relationship at the right time. I am getting myself better for that time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: North America
Posts: 362
GalInVA,
Hey there, I just wanted to take a minute to agree with you and everyone else. I know the sliding that your experienceing, I have it too, but what is nice is that we can recognize what it is. The question I am trying to answer is this-What do we do when this happens?
Well, I hope it gets better for you, you already sound very strong. Your an inspiration. Take care, keep coming back!
Love,
bonbon
Hey there, I just wanted to take a minute to agree with you and everyone else. I know the sliding that your experienceing, I have it too, but what is nice is that we can recognize what it is. The question I am trying to answer is this-What do we do when this happens?
Well, I hope it gets better for you, you already sound very strong. Your an inspiration. Take care, keep coming back!
Love,
bonbon
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Hi guys!
Al Anon suggests keeping in touch between meetings. There is usually a call list available. And also that is where a sponser can be helpful. We can't expect to be euphoric all the time..nobody would be able to stand it!
Also, I was thinking driving home from work today that, in the beginning I went to 3 meetings a week. One was an open AA speaker meeting (VERY helpful, by the way, you get to hear their perspective). Anyway, I am probably spending more time on this board right now than I did at meetings back then.
And I have been kicked in the butt by all of you to work my program again. So posting here is great thing...but personal contact is also wonderful.
Daily readings and affirmations (those things where you talk to yourself in the mirror..never really got past feeling a little weird) and seriously...a gratitude list. An Attitude of Gratitude can be a real spirit lifter.
Those just a few of the things I have done...hope it helps.
Paula
Al Anon suggests keeping in touch between meetings. There is usually a call list available. And also that is where a sponser can be helpful. We can't expect to be euphoric all the time..nobody would be able to stand it!
Also, I was thinking driving home from work today that, in the beginning I went to 3 meetings a week. One was an open AA speaker meeting (VERY helpful, by the way, you get to hear their perspective). Anyway, I am probably spending more time on this board right now than I did at meetings back then.
And I have been kicked in the butt by all of you to work my program again. So posting here is great thing...but personal contact is also wonderful.
Daily readings and affirmations (those things where you talk to yourself in the mirror..never really got past feeling a little weird) and seriously...a gratitude list. An Attitude of Gratitude can be a real spirit lifter.
Those just a few of the things I have done...hope it helps.
Paula
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