IsThisMe

Well, after all the craziness of this weekend, the violence, the restraining order, the guilt about subjecting my kids to this and his lovely message of "Don't ever contact my family again" (The only 7 words I got after a year and a half relationship) I think I can thank him for something.

The AXBF made it really easy. On Tuesday, I brought most all of his "Immediate needs" stuff (Every stitch of clothing, paperwork, personal belongings) to his best mates's house so there was no need to come to mine.

I have advised him that he needs to organise someone else to come and collect the rest of his stuff.

Then yesterday, I saw that he has un-friended me on FB and everyone he ever met through me Complete and total eradication of me from his life, no one was spared.

I expected anger. I expected pleading. I expected SOMTHING.

Stupid.

I shouldn't be surprised, this was his pattern... after a blue, he'd be cheeky, playful, hang-doggy in a cutesy please-forgive-me way but always would pretend it never happened. Done and dusted, no point thinking about the past.

Now, to him, I AM the past. Now he's going to pretend *I* never happened and the sick part is, that hurts

I should thank him. He made no contact bloody easy! And sometimes, I can see the good in that but somehow it still feels like a major rejection.
I get no conclusion, no closure, no apologies and no consideration...

Hmm.. typing that I realized I'd typed those words before... no apologies and no consideration...guess our break up isn't so unlike our relationship.

Mood swing much?

Brokentapestry

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I hope that you can do something nice for yourself tonight.

Pelican

I found this to be true:

Sometimes our HP (Higher Power) does for us what we can't do for ourselves.

In my case, I knew I needed to stop hanging onto the hope that he was in full recovery. I knew I was hanging my future on his sobriety. I just hadn't accepted it yet.

So my HP helped me out and handed me the truth.

It made ending the relationship easier. It did not lessen the pain, but it did make a swift end to the relationship.

Please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve the end.

lillamy

Provide your own closure.

Consideration and apologies you might expect if he ever gets sober. Until then, remember that you know what you know. You k ow the truth. About what happened. He can leave you in his past and weave whatever stories he want about why - you know what you know what you know.

And anyone who believes him over you is nobody you want in your life anyway.

Onwards and upwards. And good riddance. Even though it hurts.

IsThisMe

Thankfully, I seem to be getting stronger every day. Yesterday was better than the day before, and today is better still.

I became determined last night to rid my house of the memory of his violence and do something to make my home lovely and MINE again. Hello IKEA.

It's just a few small things but they make it a woman's home again. Pretty and stylish without the mish mash of two entirely different peoples tastes and choices.

New bedding, new towels, replaced the dining set he busted up, the glasses etc... The kids and I heaved a sigh of relief last night and smiled big for the first time since the episode.

I realize it's band-aid at the moment but then, why would you wear a band-aid unless it helped heal the wound??

Bit by bit, I am getting back in control of my surroundings and my life and now that he's gone, that's all I can do.

Cheers IKEA!