Pacificbrz

Bad days are the worse... Xabf decided on longterm recovery because what he was doing just wasn't working for him. So between longterm treatment and throwing myself into work we have went 30 days or so no contact. It's ok work keeps me focused but a stressful day makes me want to pick up the phone and talk to my best friend oh by the way is the xabf and that's no longer an option. It's ok I think it's just one of those moments. I've taken to writing my thoughts down in a journal that way. I get them out but keeps me on the no contact road.

I have accepted that what ever relationship we had is over there is no way to bring it back. To be honest I don't want too. I may miss the good times and I truly miss having that person I can tell anything to but I just can't do it and him drinking. I can't control his drinking and I can't change the fact he chose to start drinking again. The only thing I can choose to do is not be part of it and that's what I'm trying/decided to do. I think some days are just harder than others. It's sad to give up those dreams and plans. I have realized it probably wasn't that realistic anyways because I'm not sure if he's feeling were due to drinking or what. Sometimes I think it was all in my head or maybe one sided. I'm just glad it's over.. I'm tired and just trying to move forward.

I do still have hope that he will find a path to sobriety that will work for him. He had ten years in the past and hopefully he will get more tools for his toolbox to help him stay sober. He deserves a second chance for himself, his family and kids. I also have hope for me that I can keep moving forward and not look back. I want my own chance at happiness. Will our paths every cross again?!? I have no idea and I'm not worrying about it today because it hasn't come up. What has come up is how much I hate to be around alcohol now. I've had to attend a work after hours party and I've been out with friends. I've been amazed how much people drink. It made me sick just watching people drink because I have seen how much it negatively impacts someone that is addicted and their families. I guess my question has anyone else been uncomfortable being around people drinking? I certainly didn't want to be the beer police and it's never bothered me in the past. I should mention I maybe a 5 drink person in a year. It's just not a big part of my life. It maybe why I missed out on some of the signs with him or was just too trusting. I don't want to get myself in this situation again..

ZenMe

I am also a 5 or maybe 3 drink person a year. Don't let it bother you at parties frankly not your business unless it affects you directly. Just smile and nod. Plus I'm sure you don't last long at those events. When people get drunk I get bored and leave.

Your still angry and I totally get it. You def have another chance at happiness, we have both learned a lot.

And hey every ex I've had is better for me than the previous so I must be learning and going in the right direction.

Here's to being all the wiser. =)

acm76

My girlfriends took me to the club on Saturday night to celebrate my new "freedom" and I almost burst into tears because of all the alcohol consumption. Needless to say, after 3 years with an active alcoholic and drug abuser, I too am responding very negatively to alcohol. It is insidiuos. It ruins lives.

I just avoid it now. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner occasionally, but if I notice family or friends start to get out of control, I excuse myself. Being an adult child of an alcoholic doesn't help my situation either. It's in my genes to cross the invisible line into oblivion.

Pacificbrz

@zenme hopefully I am getting better at this dating thing honestly he taught me something very important. I deserved to be loved for me not what I can do or give but simply for being me.

@acm77 I'm glad to know I'm not alone with the tears being around alcohol. I didn't realize how sensitive I would be. I'm not judging but I guess it scared me. I don't want to get myself in another situation like this again. I will keep you in my thoughts.

It has been great to get online and see everyone's post and responses. It lets me know I'm not alone. So thank you... I just keep remembering it's one day at a time and I only worry about the things I can control.