Tuffgirl

Too funny - maybe it is ME; it is a full moon after all, and high summer in Alaska which means little sleep for us. Maybe I am not firing on all cylinders today.

Again, this is great! But I sense you are really sad about it, not so much questioning that you did the right thing. I think you know you did the right thing. The right thing just sucked.

This is a disease like no other. And standing up for yourself is the only way to handle it. I went ostrich (i.e. head in sand) for at least a year before finally standing up and saying no more. Of course, I said that about 25 times before I walked out. I didn't want this to be happening at all. I loved him, or who I thought he was. For me, doing the right thing was also the crappiest thing (meant letting him go) because it wasn't my fantasy.

Ok, all that said, alcoholics are notorious for being hard to shake. Give this some time, and while you are doing that - go live your life! Laugh, have fun, visit friends, enjoy the summer, etc. Let the ball remain squarely in his court.

AnvilheadII

I just want to add it is truly painful and tragic to witness someone so deep in their addiction they can see nothing but their drug of choice, in the case, alcohol, and their most fervent FAITH that it will make it all ok...they need it as much as breathing....and you are thinking, my god, just.STOP. how can you do this to yourself? and they reply.....how can I not?

sadielady

Thank you everyone. You helped make a really rotten day a bit better, by giving me your support and generous words. To all of you, I wish you light and love tonight, with all you're facing in this life.

sadielady

I wanted to shout back and thank you all. I have had a lot of sad moments today already, worrying about my boyfriend and imagining his own personal torture, now all alone. BUT I also feel a tad lighter today. Your words and support gave me something powerful, and that is a reminder that I'm not alone in feeling this way, and that I have to care for myself, that I can't cure him and can't take myself down trying. Instead of wavering about the boundaries I set, I'm feeling good about them. Very sad, and aching for him, but firm that this is better for me and even for him.

Anyway, thank you. I have much gratitude for what you've given me. I'm going to come back here a lot, to draw on this strength.

DG0409

He's not worried about being alone, so try to remember there is no reason you should be worried about him being alone.

He's only worried about one friend: the bottle. And he still has it, so I suspect he's feeling less alone than you are.

Sad, but true.

sadielady

DG0409, that breaks my heart. In a very sad way, it's good for me to hear it though. Thank you for being so direct and honest. I have to let go of the idea that I could really understand, or that he'd operate any way that makes sense to me.

TakingCharge999

sadielady

I left someone similar in 2008-
Today? he is drinking more than he did when I left.

Very sad, but also very real. Alcoholism is chronic and progressive. And even with many years of sobriety, they can relapse anytime.

The pain of letting go an alcoholic was among the worst I have ever felt. So yes, you have made a tough decision, but the right one. Beyond the sadness and the anger there is forgiveness and acceptance. I never thought I could move on but I did! so you can, too.

There is much to live and to enjoy, no one deserves the pain of witnessing a human being self-destruct.

YOU WILL MAKE IT ((HUGS))