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Patience and Faith in the Universe

Old 06-24-2013, 06:25 PM
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Patience and Faith in the Universe

My older daughter has always wanted a Mini Cooper. Today, we bought one for her (I co-signed for her to finance it).

We looked at it on Saturday, and tried one deal which was not accepted by the dealership. We went home, talked together, talked to her Dad, talked to my bank and insurance company, and worked another deal that was accepted today. She had to wait all day yesterday and all morning today to see if it was still available AND if the dealer would take our offer. It was a lesson in patience and faith...a painful lesson!

It got me thinking...of how many times I've told folks here to be patient and have faith all will work out as it is supposed to. To consider timing in the mix. To recognize that if something doesn't work out right now, doesn't mean it won't work out EVER. And of course, that more will be revealed.

So many times we (people in general) want to rush things and let our own anxiety overwhelm us. We want answers NOW. Action NOW. Promises NOW (and promises kept forever). We want to know, want guarantees, assurances. We want to predict the future.

Well, I can assure you that having patience and faith really does work. The sense of serenity I had while working out the details of this car purchase that comes with simply knowing that if this is meant to be, it will work out in my favor, was amazing!!! It really is that simple!

Yes, this is a minor situation compared to those struggling within their relationships with alcoholics. I know the anxiety well of feeling very insecure in my own marriage to my A. Of fearing the potential that was my future. I wanted guarantees too. I came here looking for reassurance. I found patience and faith instead. And I honestly believe the latter has served me far better than the former. Instead of getting what I needed right then, I got new coping skills that will last a lifetime; a very serene, relaxed lifetime.

Try it - next time something happens where what you want is on the line, try to allow yourself to believe that what is meant to happen, will. And when it does, you will be a-ok dealing with it then. Let go of the outcome, knowing there is always something bigger or better on the horizon, be it a Mini Cooper, a bigger house, a new love interest, or long-lasting sobriety.

Trust me, you will be amazed too!

Peace all,
~T
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Old 06-24-2013, 06:33 PM
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Couldn't agree more. And I am notorious for wanting answers NOW and hating uncertainty but lately (past few months at least Id say) I've regularly reminded myself that I can't control anything no matter how much I must want to or even try to and typically when I do try to things get disastrous.

Lots of deep breaths and reminding myself that I make a mess of things when I try to control outcomes has helped me to stop doing that.

Great post TG and yay for your daughter on the Mini Cooper!
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Old 06-24-2013, 06:50 PM
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Yay, indeed! I bet she's simply BESIDE herself.

Good job, mom!

And you are absolutely right on the peace that comes with doing the footwork and letting go of the outcome.
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Old 06-24-2013, 07:51 PM
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
Yay, indeed! I bet she's simply BESIDE herself.
That would be an understatement! She cried when we walked out with no keys on Saturday, and again today when they handed her the keys. Big fat alligator tears of pure joy.

And I must admit - Mom is pretty happy too - I've always wanted a Mini myself. Only my dream Mini would be a super-charged turbo with a manual transmission so I can drive like Charlize Theron in the Italian Job!

My daughter, however, is only allowed to drive the speed limit. Always!!!!
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Old 06-24-2013, 11:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Tuffgirl View Post
My older daughter has always wanted a Mini Cooper. Today, we bought one for her (I co-signed for her to finance it).

We looked at it on Saturday, and tried one deal which was not accepted by the dealership. We went home, talked together, talked to her Dad, talked to my bank and insurance company, and worked another deal that was accepted today. She had to wait all day yesterday and all morning today to see if it was still available AND if the dealer would take our offer. It was a lesson in patience and faith...a painful lesson!

It got me thinking...of how many times I've told folks here to be patient and have faith all will work out as it is supposed to. To consider timing in the mix. To recognize that if something doesn't work out right now, doesn't mean it won't work out EVER. And of course, that more will be revealed.

So many times we (people in general) want to rush things and let our own anxiety overwhelm us. We want answers NOW. Action NOW. Promises NOW (and promises kept forever). We want to know, want guarantees, assurances. We want to predict the future.

Well, I can assure you that having patience and faith really does work. The sense of serenity I had while working out the details of this car purchase that comes with simply knowing that if this is meant to be, it will work out in my favor, was amazing!!! It really is that simple!

Yes, this is a minor situation compared to those struggling within their relationships with alcoholics. I know the anxiety well of feeling very insecure in my own marriage to my A. Of fearing the potential that was my future. I wanted guarantees too. I came here looking for reassurance. I found patience and faith instead. And I honestly believe the latter has served me far better than the former. Instead of getting what I needed right then, I got new coping skills that will last a lifetime; a very serene, relaxed lifetime.

Try it - next time something happens where what you want is on the line, try to allow yourself to believe that what is meant to happen, will. And when it does, you will be a-ok dealing with it then. Let go of the outcome, knowing there is always something bigger or better on the horizon, be it a Mini Cooper, a bigger house, a new love interest, or long-lasting sobriety.

Trust me, you will be amazed too!

Peace all,
~T
Oh TG, this is exactly what I need!

Perfect! And so validating, because it's exactly what I've been beginning to see i need to practice now: letting go of the outcome, AND the panic about that. About Life in general.

I need to practice this constantly because my mind is sooooo deeply immersed in old patterns! Fear, dread, you all know. The whole schtick.
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Old 06-25-2013, 05:09 AM
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Tuff- thanks for the great post. I needed to read it.
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Old 06-25-2013, 05:44 AM
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Thank you, thank you!

Great post, TG!! Thank you for this - I think I"ll print it out and hang it on my wall. With my "never have time to fart" life that I have, being patient and waiting is no longer a strong suit of mine. It used to be, but no longer, I'm afraid.

But, I will work on this, and read, read, read this over and over again.

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Old 06-25-2013, 05:55 AM
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Tuffgirl, yes--isn't this the same thing, basically , as "Let Go and Let God (the universe)"?

Good Job, MOM!

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Old 06-25-2013, 05:59 AM
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Thank you! I really needed this right now. The guarantees really spoke to me. When it becomes stressful, I still want those guarantees. Gotta let that go!

Thanks!
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Old 06-25-2013, 06:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Tuffgirl View Post
My older daughter has always wanted a Mini Cooper. Today, we bought one for her (I co-signed for her to finance it).

We looked at it on Saturday, and tried one deal which was not accepted by the dealership. We went home, talked together, talked to her Dad, talked to my bank and insurance company, and worked another deal that was accepted today. She had to wait all day yesterday and all morning today to see if it was still available AND if the dealer would take our offer. It was a lesson in patience and faith...a painful lesson!

It got me thinking...of how many times I've told folks here to be patient and have faith all will work out as it is supposed to. To consider timing in the mix. To recognize that if something doesn't work out right now, doesn't mean it won't work out EVER. And of course, that more will be revealed.

So many times we (people in general) want to rush things and let our own anxiety overwhelm us. We want answers NOW. Action NOW. Promises NOW (and promises kept forever). We want to know, want guarantees, assurances. We want to predict the future.

Well, I can assure you that having patience and faith really does work. The sense of serenity I had while working out the details of this car purchase that comes with simply knowing that if this is meant to be, it will work out in my favor, was amazing!!! It really is that simple!

Yes, this is a minor situation compared to those struggling within their relationships with alcoholics. I know the anxiety well of feeling very insecure in my own marriage to my A. Of fearing the potential that was my future. I wanted guarantees too. I came here looking for reassurance. I found patience and faith instead. And I honestly believe the latter has served me far better than the former. Instead of getting what I needed right then, I got new coping skills that will last a lifetime; a very serene, relaxed lifetime.

Try it - next time something happens where what you want is on the line, try to allow yourself to believe that what is meant to happen, will. And when it does, you will be a-ok dealing with it then. Let go of the outcome, knowing there is always something bigger or better on the horizon, be it a Mini Cooper, a bigger house, a new love interest, or long-lasting sobriety.

Trust me, you will be amazed too!

Peace all,
~T

This particular part of the post is a problem I have acknowledged about myself and one I am working on.

If I have a problem with something, I want to discuss it there and then to try and figure out a solution. Instead I need to relax, be patient, and not expect solutions to everything immediately.
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Old 06-25-2013, 07:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Tuffgirl View Post
Only my dream Mini would be a super-charged turbo with a manual transmission so I can drive like Charlize Theron in the Italian Job!
What a turn on! A sports car with an automatic is NOT a sports car! A woman driving a sports car is a huge turn on for me... I'm a huge sports car fan too and I love my old 2004 330Ci 6 speed sports package with the 18" wheels!!!

Anyway.. good for you! You taught your daughter a valuable lesson in patience.
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Old 06-25-2013, 08:25 AM
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Thank you so much, TG! I wish I had read your post before this past weekend when my child lost an important sports match and I found myself inappropriately very disappointed. I was catastrophizing and kept thinking, "there goes this opportunity, there goes that opportunity. "

I tried to sit quietly and remind myself that whatever happened was meant to be, and it did help a little, but my belief isn't fully there yet. It's like I know I should trust my HP (and my child's) yet I can't fully let go to do it.

Anyway, thanks for leading the way.
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Old 06-25-2013, 08:35 AM
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LOL Jazzman - I LOVE to drive...fast and furious! My Mom had a BMW Z4 that I drove for a few summers - it was pure heaven. I got that car up to 130 through a mountain pass here and I swear it was like I was doing 65. This little Mini corners like the Z4 did; I miss that in an SUV. Just not the same!

But she wanted an automatic, although I tried to talk her into a manual with promises of lessons, too. Even the Mini dealership offers lessons! Oh well, for a 20 yr old, this one will do. ; )
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Old 07-02-2013, 05:53 PM
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Tuff girl, I'm late to the party but thank you for this post. It's is one of the things I am really struggling with in marriage.

And you look kinda like Charlize, too!

*edited for clarity..
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Old 07-02-2013, 06:59 PM
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This is wonderful. I'm needing this today. Thank you!!
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Old 07-02-2013, 07:11 PM
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Wow, i appreciated this post the first time around, but i NEEDED to hear it again today. I was struggling with wanting it all NOWnowNow literally just minutes before opening this thread. Thank you TG for sharing this & also to those who bumped it back up today.
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Old 07-02-2013, 08:27 PM
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This post is so filled with optimism. I enjoyed seeing things come full circle. I need to realize that things arent happening the way I want them to, but maybe its supposed to be this way..:
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Old 07-03-2013, 05:19 AM
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Good reminder for me, too, after my disappointment with the organizer yesterday. Things will work out... the way they are supposed to.
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Old 07-03-2013, 07:45 AM
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Love this post!~

Yes, this is a minor situation compared to those struggling within their relationships with alcoholics.
I think every opportunity- no matter how little- that I take to act in faith, calm myself, be patient, and put out those vibrations and prayers that say THANK YOU FOR THESE GIFTS, brings more and more gifts, more and more faith. It builds. Like a river.

Thank you for the wonderful story and reminder
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Old 07-03-2013, 08:02 AM
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Originally Posted by transformyself View Post
Love this post!~



I think every opportunity- no matter how little- that I take to act in faith, calm myself, be patient, and put out those vibrations and prayers that say THANK YOU FOR THESE GIFTS, brings more and more gifts, more and more faith. It builds. Like a river.

Thank you for the wonderful story and reminder


I'm starting to think maybe I should get a printer!
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