justbeachy

Hello,
My mom is an alcoholic/drug addict. She was awful when I was young, was in recovery for We live 4 hours apart, but I still decided I can't have a relationship with her right now. I have health problems & a young daughter to raise. I told Mom that I love her & I'll be here when she gets help. She got furious and we haven't talked since(2 weeks ago). It's been hard as we used to talk almost daily, but she is just too toxic for me right now. I'm here because I feel pretty alone a lot lately. I hope some of you will understand. Thanks for reading this.

LexieCat

Hi, beachy! Glad you are here--this is a great place for support. I know it's very tough to detach from an alcoholic loved one, but you are absolutely doing the healthy thing for yourself.

I also suggest that you check out Al-Anon--another fantastic source of support. It was a lifeline for me when my second husband went back to drinking after almost dying of it.

wicked

I am so sorry you feel alone. You have found a good place to talk about how you are feeling though.
There is a forum here just for children of alcoholics/addicts, but of course, they are adults there who grew up like you did.
I grew up with an alcoholic father, my parents divorced and then I rarely saw him again from the age of 12 until he died of cirrhosis at age 62.

It is probably best for you to get some distance for your emotional and mental health.
Have you considered any AlAnon or NarAnon meetings?
They can be great support too.

So glad you found us, but sorry for the reason.

Beth

Rosiepetal

Welcome to SR
Lots of support here for you
You've detached & made a healthy choice.

justbeachy

Already feeling better. Thank you for the replies.

FireSprite

& Hugs! You are definitely in the right place!

honeypig

Welcome, beachy! Amazing how a little contact w/people who "get it" can make you feel so much better, isn't it? You are definitely not alone.

I'd also like to second the suggestion to check into Alanon; you'll find a great deal of warmth and support there, too. It makes all the difference in the world to talk w/people who have been or are now in your shoes...

Wishing you peace and clarity!

Recovering2

You are SOOO not alone. I had to make the same decision with respect to my brother. I had to detach and distance myself, so I love him from a distance. It was too devestating for me to continue the relationship any other way. I told him the same thing. When you want serious help, I will help you. That was 5 years ago, no request for help yet.

When you start to take care of yourself, and first detach, it's not unusual for the A to react and fight back. That's perfectly okay. You make decisions for your health. The A is allowed to have their reaction, but their reaction doesn't have to change our decision.

I hope you find an AlAnon group near you. Those meetings are awesome places to connect locally with others who have been in your shoes. You will feel better everytime you go to one. They have child care at alot of the meetings.

Big (((hugs))) and welcome!

atalose

Welcome beachy....love the name... lots of great people here who understand what your going through. Hope you stick around.

justbeachy

Thanks to all. I'm considering an AL-ANON meeting & looking for a good one near me. It is very helpful to know I'm not alone in this. I'm so glad I found you!