Do I need to listen to this or not?
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Originally Posted by LexieCat 
I went to a similar recovery meeting once at the Philadelphia Shambhala Center. I went especially to hear Kevin Griffin speak--he's the author of One Breath at a Time. I found it interesting, though I wouldn't want to replace my AA meetings with it. I found it difficult to relate to a lot of the other "issues" that people were dealing with.
Different strokes, I guess...!
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Originally Posted by honeypig
As I explained in the original post, this is a Buddhist-flavored 12-step program that we both attend. The members of this group include several overeaters, a sex addict, several alcoholics, some folks who identify themselves as codependents, and several who claim more than one problem. It is not dedicated solely to one type of issue.
So no, I'm not sitting in his AA meetings with him, Choublak, nor is he sitting in my Alanon meetings with me. Sorry if I wasn't sufficiently clear about that. It is just this one meeting that we attend together, and the only reason we go together is that there is only one session per week.
So no, I'm not sitting in his AA meetings with him, Choublak, nor is he sitting in my Alanon meetings with me. Sorry if I wasn't sufficiently clear about that. It is just this one meeting that we attend together, and the only reason we go together is that there is only one session per week.
If this meeting that the two of you attend together is making you feel bad because of what he confesses during it, well, I don't know.
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Originally Posted by choublak
If this meeting that the two of you attend together is making you feel bad because of what he confesses during it, well, I don't know.
Thanks again to all who helped me out!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Been there. Done that.
I'm new to all of this and probably very ignorant on this topic. But being the husband to an alcoholic wife I have experience.
Sorry, but I don't expect anything but lies from an alcoholic talking about not drinking. I expect nothing less. Admissions of drinking are still surprising to me (rare as they are).
I'm sure I don't know all of my wife's hiding places. I quit looking after a night last spring where I durned up some 13 or so empty to partially full bottles of wine stashed in most obvious places (several out of her car). I lined them up on her hood and texted her the pic. I'm sure they're there and in many other places too.
I feel sorry for you and myself. Wish I could help both of us. Best wishes
Sorry, but I don't expect anything but lies from an alcoholic talking about not drinking. I expect nothing less. Admissions of drinking are still surprising to me (rare as they are).
I'm sure I don't know all of my wife's hiding places. I quit looking after a night last spring where I durned up some 13 or so empty to partially full bottles of wine stashed in most obvious places (several out of her car). I lined them up on her hood and texted her the pic. I'm sure they're there and in many other places too.
I feel sorry for you and myself. Wish I could help both of us. Best wishes
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My kneejerk reaction to this was indignation on how dare he be lying to you. This is my baggage, but I'm struck at how cranky it made me. Of course you're mad! He's lying to you!
Taking a step back though, if you want to make the relationship work, is this something you can deal with? He doesn't seem to be respecting your boundaries, even if there's no malice behind it. Is there something else you can do? My immediate suggestion would be to find another home group, as painful as that might be. But that space is supposed to be for you and you alone for your peace, your meditation, your well-being. If he's in there throwing elbows, you can ask him to go, or find another space where he won't tarnish the atmosphere with unwanted revelations.
Taking a step back though, if you want to make the relationship work, is this something you can deal with? He doesn't seem to be respecting your boundaries, even if there's no malice behind it. Is there something else you can do? My immediate suggestion would be to find another home group, as painful as that might be. But that space is supposed to be for you and you alone for your peace, your meditation, your well-being. If he's in there throwing elbows, you can ask him to go, or find another space where he won't tarnish the atmosphere with unwanted revelations.
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