Javajoetoes

Yes that's me!!! Apparently so according to my AH. I am ungrateful for what I've got in my life....what brings him to make such an insightful observation, you ask? Instead of believing him when he says he's not going to drink at at all AND that I can count on him to drive us all home afterwards from an event we're due to attend (to work) in two weeks time, I asked him to book us accommodation. He was really p**sed off when I explained that even though he says he's not going to drink I've heard it all before and in the last week I've heard him say that at least 4 times and guess what? (Rhetorical question obviously).
I couldn't help but laugh a little when he said that I am ungrateful, I really wasn't being sarcastic or anything it's just such a mirror mirror statement that it seemed ridiculous to me. Then he said why the f**k are you laughing? I must have looked very scary for a brief time (he was being like this in front of our son and I do not tolerate that language anymore) so he rephrased. Why are you laughing? I said because what you said seems funny to me.
This man has been sweet and thoughtful a lot of the week but this incident shows me the dark side which is always lurking there.The trigger.....addressing the alcoholism out in the open, that was what started the incident on New Years Day...he was angry because I had bought him a book on how to reduce his drinking. I had also bought a book for myself on how to cope with living with a problem drinker.
This is why I continue with my plan to leave.
What a waste

fourmaggie

ya, we do always seem to get the finger pointing dont we?...
I remember mine, looking at 3 empty 40oz RUM bottles and questioning him face to face and lieing..."was not me" he says...*shaking my head* i am so ungrateful to him, i dont trust him...blah blah blah....

life is great 3 years later after HE left me do to my wonderful AL ANON group....
the changes where within me...and i am still changing

PippiLngstockng

I owned three books about alcoholism when AH was still living here. He said that I had, like, 20 books and they were lying open all over the house (!). Powerful stuff, those little bits of reading material.

Even though they were 'all over the place', he never read more than a few pages. And boy, was he ever bitter about that.

Javajoetoes

Aha!!! So hyperbole is a characteristic of alcoholism too then!!!
It's hard to swallow it but it's better than constant arguments and I've got my eyes on the prize now so let it be

xxx

Javajoetoes

I want to be where you are...I will be, I will be.
Have you ever heard that song?...I think it's called thank you
It's basically about a girl whose partner used to beat her up and how she took everything that he ever did to her and used it to make herself stronger....thats how I feel........every time he says something meant to make me feel bad I turn it around and congratulate myself for getting to a place where I choose to no longer believe hi crap!!!
Yay me!!!!!!!!!!!

AH hates that song Lol!!!!

Carlotta

It does not work: you can lead a horse to the water but you cannot force it to drink and you might driver yourself nuts in the process.
My best friend is an alcoholic, I bought him a big book as well as a book about rational recovery (he is not the AA type) and it is in his home gathering dust (big book makes a nice support for my laptop when I visit LOL).

fourmaggie

ooh you would love Christina Aguilera 's --FIGHTER, its the STRIPPED CD...buy it...sure will give you strength when you listen to her words (in quite alot of her songs)

it takes alot of patience with yourself...and some good BACK BONE!..i have values, morals and confidence....i move--forward

Christina Aguilera - Fighter - YouTube <<hoping the link works