Almost a year later ...!
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 386
Almost a year later ...!
I haven't posted in forever, and it's likely no one here remembers me ... But I was an absolute mess last year. I was dating an active alcoholic (we are in our 30s) from a family of alcoholics and enablers. Having no alcoholism in my life experience up to this point, I was completely out of my league. I could not understand why this wonderful, afrectionate, funny, sweet loving guy could -- after a day of drinking (which he'd promise to stop and never did for long) -- could turn into this mean, loud, awful demon. One who slurred insults at me and literally kicked my suitcase out his door a night I was staying with him -- the day before moving into my new place, which also happened to be my birthday.
I had it. I was done with him, his apologies, his broken promises and my anxiety, agony and fear. I could not live that way any longer. I gave everything to God. It hurt like hell, as he was someone I cared for deeply. I spent the first few nights in my new place bawling on the floor.
Fast forward almost a year later ...
My once ABF is now my RABF -- he made the decision to get sober, find a sponsor, work the steps. He has turned his ship around (this while his family has not changed at all) and he's celebrating his year mark in three weeks. People do recover every day -- this web site says it and, Praise God, it is true!
We still are far from the perfect couple and perfect people. A year of growth has showed us many more areas where more growth is needed! I used to think if he could just stop drinking everything would be fixed -- and it's absolutely better ... But our work is just beginning. I never believed I'd ever say this, but I'm so glad to have gone through this. This testing has brought me closer to God and who I want to be.
It is my sincere prayer for everyone here to keep the faith. That being said, please do not accept (or subject your children to) unacceptable behavior. I never would have found a better place, had I not broken free to find it. I was able to have a second chance at happiness with an alcoholic, but I will never -- ever, ever, ever -- accept another chance at hell with him.
Much love,
Jessie
I had it. I was done with him, his apologies, his broken promises and my anxiety, agony and fear. I could not live that way any longer. I gave everything to God. It hurt like hell, as he was someone I cared for deeply. I spent the first few nights in my new place bawling on the floor.
Fast forward almost a year later ...
My once ABF is now my RABF -- he made the decision to get sober, find a sponsor, work the steps. He has turned his ship around (this while his family has not changed at all) and he's celebrating his year mark in three weeks. People do recover every day -- this web site says it and, Praise God, it is true!
We still are far from the perfect couple and perfect people. A year of growth has showed us many more areas where more growth is needed! I used to think if he could just stop drinking everything would be fixed -- and it's absolutely better ... But our work is just beginning. I never believed I'd ever say this, but I'm so glad to have gone through this. This testing has brought me closer to God and who I want to be.
It is my sincere prayer for everyone here to keep the faith. That being said, please do not accept (or subject your children to) unacceptable behavior. I never would have found a better place, had I not broken free to find it. I was able to have a second chance at happiness with an alcoholic, but I will never -- ever, ever, ever -- accept another chance at hell with him.
Much love,
Jessie
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hey, how great to hear that things are going well for both of you!
I know, that recovery stuff is AMAZING when it really is worked, isn't it? Sounds like you are both on the same page and minding your own recoveries. Good for you!
And congrats to your b/f for his sober time.
I know, that recovery stuff is AMAZING when it really is worked, isn't it? Sounds like you are both on the same page and minding your own recoveries. Good for you!
And congrats to your b/f for his sober time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 453
Congrats to both you and your bf on your recovery! I hope it continues...one day at a time.
I really appreciate hearing everyone's stories here, your experiences are so helpful. I don't think I had found SR when you may have been posting more, but thank you so much for the update!
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