Magichappens

I agree Ngaire,
No one deserves to be beat on physically or emotionally. There is no shame in the choices we make to be happy and healthy. Hugs, Magic

Lorelai

I think that I have always concentrated so hard on the problems caused by alcohol that I've been blinded to everything else. Marriages break up everyday for reasons that have nothing to do with addiction. People grow up and grow apart. Partners hurt one another so often and so deeply that they can't get over the hurt.

Keeping a marriage alive and healthy is hard work - on the part of both partners. Working on the marriage is hard enough when both partners are sober and really hard when one is an alcoholic. Time goes on and there is so much concentration on the alcohol that the marriage can be ignored.

One of the things that scares me is that it is very possible that, if my H ever got sober, we may not stay together anyway. I'm not even sure who he is when he's not drunk so I'm not sure I would be happy with that partner either. I think that, fundamentally, he is a taker and I've always been a giver. That's what always worked between us. Since I've been working on my codieism, I think I deserve a little take now and then.
L