How do you know that you are really done?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 70
Okay Lexie - I'm trying to remember to breathe, and look at this as a fact finding mission. My brain has already jumped forward in time and predicted all of the ways that this is going to be horrible: he'll fight me on the kid, the house, the money. I'm going to have to pay HIM alimony because he's been unemployed for 2 years...on and on and on. I need to stop predicting the future. I don't know what will happen. I haven't even met with a lawyer yet. Slow down. Breathe Broken, breathe.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Right. This is to find out the actual likelihood of any of those scary scenarios, and to find out ways to make any exit, should you eventually choose to make one, as calm, smooth, and stress-free as possible.
Getting the facts helps rein in those wild horses in your head.
I think you are very smart to be doing this.
Getting the facts helps rein in those wild horses in your head.
I think you are very smart to be doing this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 453
You may already be doing this...harness those wild thoughts into the questions you need to have answered. I wrote out a list, reviewed it with a few trusted friends, etc. then took it with me for the consultation. It is a big step - I was scared to do it, but knew that I needed to for my own peace of mind. As I said before, I haven't pursued anything further yet, but I have comfort in knowing what my options are should I decide to exercise them. Knowledge is power. Good luck.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Better than where I was
Posts: 267
When I went in for my first lawyer consultation I had a list of questions written down on a notepad. I kept that notepad at work (so she wouldn't find it) for a week or two and every time I thought of a question I would write it down no matter how silly or irrelevant. After all I didn't have to ask it, just had to get it out. I found it very helpful to have the time to really think about what questions I needed answers to. That's something that I couldn't really shoot from the hip.
Big changes are scary, at times I felt overwhelmed but how do you move a mountain? One rock at a time.
Big changes are scary, at times I felt overwhelmed but how do you move a mountain? One rock at a time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 70
Thank you all so much. I'm trying very hard to be present, and focus on right now. I have some planning (love the suggestions of the lists of questions!) that needs to be done, but I don't have to let the wild horses in my brain run off.
One day at a time...
One day at a time...
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