smoke gets in my eyes

Good morning...
I have been shaking my head at myself for a few days now. I have a firm grip on "don't give the addict money". If you want to pay for something, pay the source. (Like the hospital.) Dino's parents do not have any such grip, and actually refuse to believe he has a drug problem. They sent him tons of money they should not have last weekend (I paid the hospital), and we know what happened. I felt really bad for them, knowing they would now do without things... so I SENT THEM MONEY! I ENABLED THE ANONS! Would anyone like to join my anon-anon group?

Don't bother looking for the skillet, I am sitting in it. Just light those sticks underneath, thanks.

Smoke

bonbon

Don't sit in the pan, I think you deserve an award of some kind.

Hugs,
bonbon

JT

...sort of like an invisible enabler...enabling the enabler....enabling once removed...oh my, oh my...is this what REAL lurking is all about?

I don't think you need to go so far as sitting in the skillet and lighting a match...just a light tap on the noggin' with a bunny slipper..your heart was in the right place...

JT

JT

I take that back...ssshhhheeeesssshhhh...why does it all have to be so complicated....you did a wonderful thing... I hope they appreciate you!

Morning Glory

You all just went through a very stressful event. I think it's normal to pass money around at a time like this. Don't sit in the skillet. Get up and fry yourself some duck eggs for breakfast. And make sure they are sunny side up so it brightens your day.

MG

smoke gets in my eyes

I will take the smack on the head with the bunny slipper, and I will thank you to ask ex-e to make the net available in case I ever do that again. "NO, I won't give you money for drugs, but I'll give money to other people who give you money for drugs?" HUH? I am helping these people exist in their delusions. That is uncool. How much quicker I would have put my foot down with Dino if my friends and creditors had not been so damned understanding! No, I don't blame them, I bless them. How wonderful that there are people who want to help! And to be completely fair... they didn't know what was going on, because I didn't realize what was going on. But I have told Dino's parents what the problem is. Their other kids have told them. They have bailed him out of jail on crack charges. (Obviously, they thought it was a bum rap.)
Perhaps it's not my duty to wake these folks up, but it's also not my duty to rescue them from their mistake, any more than it is my duty to rescue Dino.

I think I'll just sit in the skillet a little longer.

fatcat

Hey Smoke

She that sitteth on the skillet for too long, doth burneth herself...

I too am painfully discovering how hard it
is to keep that 'money' thing in perspective where the addicted other-half is concerned.

I am on the point of cutting ALL financial ties - I keep telling myself that's just
numbers, he is still my husband and I will always love him etc.etc.

Can I borrow an expletive from your cat for both of us?
Hang Fire
FATCAT

Debbie

Hey Smoke

Don't beat yourself up. You were thinking of others when you did that and you obviously care about his parents. I think you better get out of that skillet now.

Take care.
Love,
Debbie

firefly

Hey Smoke,

The only thing I can add to this, which may not be much of anything, is man oh man, Dino's got it made. A hospital bill on one end AND extra cash on the other. Wow. He is one blessed person to have someone as wonderful as you on his side. Recovery of any kind,as I know you're aware, is a long, arduous process. Our gooses get cooked quiet well without us taking over the job. Simmer is only good for stewing. I hope you get out of the pot soon.

Peace & serenity,

firefly

JT

....no matter how evolved or recovered we think we get every once in awhile we do something that humbles us...it is after all a journey, right?

Now quit hogging the skllet!


JT

[This message has been edited by Just Tired (edited May 16, 2002).]

Morning Glory

Sometimes I truely wonder if we have all lost our minds.

Ogly

Well - I have determined you have sat in that skillet long enough - I hope it is sprayed it with Pam - because otherwise - it will probably hurt when i rip it out from underneath your ass

Plus i need it to go hit Annabella in the back of the head with it....

Now, I leave for a few days and i find people sitting in my prized skillet - you should have just swung it upwards and give yourself a good smack and used the bunny slippers to stop the bleeding.... our fur is good for that type of stuff..... nexttime i have to take a trip - i am going to put a bunny spell on it - so no sitting and wallowing is allowed... if necessary - it will learn to swing itself....

I balied his parents out so many times and if i won the lottery - i would do it again... knowing full well they still help Doug....

Look - we are not perfect - if we were this board would not exsist... you did what you did and it brought you to a new level of enlightenment correct? The time in the pan is done... your ass is toasted enough... lest find you some neosporin for the wound.... and off you go to duck hunt.....

Love
Ogly

smoke gets in my eyes

Toasted? It never even got warm. I couldn't get a light from ANYBODY 'cause their A's had used all the matches. Anyway, a time-out in the skillet is not such a bad thing. When I am strong enough to retire mine from duck-shooing... whatever will I do with it? I don't suppose it would make a good sailboat... a planter maybe? Wouldn't that be a cute little herb garden, all planted in a skillet?

ladyammons

Oh, Smoke ... what can I say? Everyone else had already said it. Yes, we all probably would have done what you did at one time or another ... you are nice lady and was thinking of his parents. But now that you have told them the facts, you know you cannot "bail" them out again. It's so hard.

firefly

I think it might be good for white water rafting. Or maybe surfing.

A time out, yes. A time out in a skillet, hhmmm...

Ann

Found this one in the basement too. Thought you might enjoy it.

Gabe

The best thing that has happened as a result of my ex-alcoholic's latest slip is honesty between his mother and I. I told her to quit giving him money (out of guilt) so that he could "pay me child support" because he wasn't paying it anyway. She truly didn't realize that she was just funding his abuse. She has now said that if there is the need to send money to me for my son, she will send it to me directly. Grey cloud/silver lining. Let's all get out of the frying pan. It's too silly to fry for a fire we never lit in the first place.

helluvagalnva

Hi Smoke,

So you helped his parents out that's not such a bad thing. All that means is that you have a big heart and care about his parents. Now that you're aware of them enabling - you won't do it again. Give yourself a break!!

Now, quit hogging the skillet!!!!!

Love Ya,
Galnva