Alcoholic brother's 60th bday tomorrow
 

I sent him a card, which he acknowledged today. We haven't spoken since March. Should I call him tomorrow on his 60th? Or is the card enough??

Confused in Texas

You could text him. I think texting is the greatest thing for situations like that.

Nice of you to want to recognize his birthday. My alcoholic brother is 56, and I'm not sure he's going to make it to 60. I never used to call him, but now I call from time to time because he's usually alone in a motel room, sometimes drunk, sometimes sober and I just want to give him some basic human contact. I don't let him mess up my head. I just say, "thinking about you, hope you're feeling well today, I love you" and then I get off the phone.

At this stage of his life (and mine) I'm not trying to make a point about his choices.

Good point. I can't text him as he has limited service on his phone. I guess I can email him. This is a big birthday for him and the first since my mom died last year. So it must be hard.

Good luck with your brother! You are very kind to him.

Dear Sadie, sibling relationships mean so much---especially after the passing of a parent. If I were in your shoes I would send him a message from your heart. He has a heart that hurts--just like all of us. this is if you feel uncomfortable with a phone call. If you don't feel uncomfortable with a phone call---I don't see the harm--but, of course, that is up to you.

dandylion