how to help
 

What can I do to help my wife while she is in rehab? I need some advice.

Are you involved in a recovery program of your own, like Alanon? That would be my first suggestion for the biggest thing you can do to help her--start working on yourself and educating yourself. It may be HER addiction, but you are both involved in the sickness, whether that is apparent to you at this point or not.

Reading here, especially checking out the stickied threads at the top of the forum section, will be helpful also.

Good for you for being onboard with her recovery, and best wishes for strength and clarity going forward.

Dear dfwtx, there is nothing that you can or should do for her, at this point. She is in the care of professionals who are prepared to give her the kind of help she needs. You cannot be her therapist nor should you be her cheerleader in her recovery.

Involvement in her program for recovery, (of which this is only step one), is likely to be seen with resentment; seen as controlling. Furthermore, it can set you up for blame-shifting down the road--alcoholics are good at that!

The best thing that you can do for you and your kids is to get into your own program (alanon). It will give YOU the kind of support that you badly need, and keep you o ut of her way---on your side of the street. Remember, that alcoholism damages the spouse and children as well as the alcoholic. This also gives you time to inform yourself of the nature of the disease, so that you know what you are dealing with. Understanding that will help you. (I gave you a good website in another post for what to expect in early recovery).

This period of time is as critical for you and the kids as it is for her.

I hope this helps.....

dandylion