whatnow

This last weekend my husband did something that finally made me realize that I couldn't and wouldn't do this anymore. Him and his mother were out on the lawn drinking. (His mom is his favorite drinking buddy.) When my son in law came over and came in the house and asked who was outside. I told him my husband and his mother. He said there was three people out there. I went out and it was our neighbors son who is seventeen. He had a beer in his hand. I looked at my husband and told him he better have not given him the beer. Of course they all went into this big story trying to cover it up but I knew better. They continued to drink. My husband was playing music loud and every time I would ask him to turn it down he would turn it up louder. My two youngest were at a dance at the high school and go to school with this kid. After they came in the house I told him that it was going to look real good when the kids got home and he was sitting there drinking with one of their classmates. I think that made him stop and think because he took him outside and told him he needed to leave and why. But of course him being drunk he was in no hurry to leave and the kids got home. I could see the disgusting look on their faces.
Anyway the next day I told my husband that I was not going to live this way anymore. I refuse to watch him drink everyday. That is not what I wanted in my life or what I wanted for the kids. I told him I would not have life like his parents had after all their kids left home of drinking everyday. I told him that when the people that love him tell him that they wished he would stop drinking and he gets angry and thinks that we are trying to run his life it was hurtful to us. I told him that he was pushing everyone that loved him away and soon he would have nobody but his beer. That is why he has no friends, they have all grown up and realized what is important in life and none of them can stand to be around him. That is why he has resorted to drinking beer with people way younger than him. It's pretty sad when a 43 year old man is drinking with 20 some odd year olds and high school kids cuz he has no one else to party with. Of course he told me that he was through but I have heard that before so I'm not holding my breath. But I am so proud of myself for standing up for myself and making the decision to live and get my life back. It has been a long time since I did anything for myself.
Sorry I have went on and on but I had to tell some one who would appreciate it.

McKrazy

I am so proud of you, too. Similar lives, different details we have. My husband has also traded a life for a beer. My kids are also growing more aware and disgusted. It's amazing watching judgement disappear, but it sounds like your's is intact. Stay strong whatever you decide and know you have support here when you need it. Keep us posted, I will be watching your "story" over the next weeks, your strength inspires me. Thanks for posting and know I care about you even though we've never met, we are kindred spirits. Take care,
Pam

Lorelai

Way to go girl ! Thanks for sharing this with us and stay strong.
L

luvmyfurbabies

It takes a lot of courage and inner strength to say what you did. I think a lot of times we all keep too much inside. I know I do. This is the only place I can come to where people actually understand how I feel. I'm not one to make close friends so I don't confide in anyone. Until now. You did the right thing by saying what you did and should be proud of yourself. Barbara