Don't mind if I vent do you?

Old 06-01-2013, 12:48 AM
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Ca
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Lightbulb Don't mind if I vent do you?

Ok... so I feel a bit hypercritical. In my first thread "I dated an alcoholic" I talked about my experience and in the end kicking him out which was the best solution for myself. And YES life has been good since I'm no longer in relationship with him.. my life is peaceful... no stress... no abuse... no fighting... no nothing... except the resentment towards him that I cant seem to shake off

SO why do I still have resentment towards him? I know, I know... I'm still hurt from all the pain, from the breakup of what could been if he was only sober... I get it.

However, I cant help but to feel every now and then of what he put me through:

* The abuse.. mentally, emotionally, verbally, physically, and sexual assault?
* The guilt.. of it "always" being my fault.
* His lies.. he had so many I lost count.
* His mood swings... like jekyll and hyde... yikes
* His controlling behavior.
* His EVERYDAY drinking.. the list goes on and on and on and on and on...

All I want to do is cry and feel sorry for myself but on the other hand I DON'T because if I do I see it as him winning and winning isn't what he deserves. He deserves to be ALONE! Therefore, he can take his abusive ways, mind games, lies, mood swings, controlling behavior and the love of his life, alcohol, and drift off very far, far away...

With that said he can... Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you:
besides, you grow dishonest
Gisele is offline  
Old 06-01-2013, 05:26 AM
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Vent away, Gisele, vent away!

Ah, yes, the lying, the mood swings, the maniuplation and control to keep someone in that enabling spot for the active alcoholic, but add emotional, physical and sexual abuse to that--no one deserves to be on the receiving end of abuse--period.

Anger is a natural emotion and can help us change our lives if we use that energy toward something productive. It can also eat us up from the inside out if we aren't careful. Sometimes, I would be more angry at myself for putting up with poor treatment than I would be at the person who treated me that way.
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Old 06-01-2013, 07:53 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Gisele, here is the link for a thread that I started a while ago on the difference between resentment and rage. Lots of people had very perceptive comments about it.

Hydrogirl is quite right. You have been wronged, deeply, and you are entitled to feel anger. In some ways, I think we have to feel and process that anger to let go of it.

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