Really hate the weekends-ugh!
 

Ok, AH told me he was on his way home 2 hours ago. But as usual on a Friday night after work he has been lured into the Happy hour zone along with all the other celebrators- I'm sure. Did I really expect him to come home? No, not at all, totally expected-predictable behavior. I am sure he will come home sloshed at 2 am and sleep until the afternoon tomorrow, leaving me to go fishing or garden alone as per usual. I am mostly detached and do well through the weekdays, but the weekends still suck and I feel most hurt then. I am not sure how to get past it, or if I ever will.

Yes, I have made alternate plans to enjoy the evening with my daughter, we are leaving here soon to eat Chinese and see a movie, but the fact is that I still miss doing things with my partner. Dang! I was doing so well these past couple months, and this week I just seem to have the blues! Is anyone else feeling the waves lately? The ebb and flow of not caring some days and then other days (weekends) still wanting what u know you can have anyway? I feel like a nut! It's the weekend, I know it is, I should be happy!!! Ack! Ok, I am going now, sucking it up and having a great night with my daughter...

Dear petmagnet, I don't think that there is any way in a marriage to an active alcoholicthat one can expect the same benefits as a healthy non-alcoholic family. Certainly detachment can reduce conflict and protect you from the chaos to a certain extent. Usually one has to lower their expectations--sometimes very drastically in order to live with the alcoholic.

Ultimately, it will be up to you to decide how you want to live.

Personally, I would rather live in a refrigerator box--but, that is just me...

dandylion

((Petmagnet)) I do know how you feel. My ABF's situation is more unpredictable though because he works in restaurants and does not have a set schedule. He goes out twice a week and, like your AH, sleeps at least until 11 am or so.

It hurts like hell. I am also working on detaching, but while I am doing that I am also considering whether this is what I want for my life and making alternate plans. I hope you are as well. When we are ready to go, we will know.