Ah diagnosed with NPD

Old 06-04-2013, 05:59 PM
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They all have NPD. Why do they waste time diagnosing them.

Originally Posted by lizatola View Post
I'm not surprised but apparently, he was. His doctor(psychologist) had him do a few narcissistic personality profiles after getting into arguments with AH during therapy sessions and getting frustrated with him. The doc does not feel that AH is an alcoholic at this point, but that his NPD and his 'I'm above the law' attitude clouds his judgement and overrides his decision making. I'm not about to argue with anybody at this point, I just sit and listen to AH tell me what's going on. He seems genuinely confused about what's going on in his own life. I feel sorry for him at times.

I've been trying to meet with AH weekly for lunch. Trying to take down walls here and there to see if anything is salvageable. Yet, I find out about stupid lies and crap and I get frustrated and hurt and angry. I start pulling away again in an effort to step back from him. There really is a part of me that wants this marriage to work, I want to give him the chance to work with his therapist and see if they can make some efforts but his proclamation of going weekly to therapy has already turned into once every two weeks. I'm not surprised, he's a narcissist and he has all the answers. Or, so he thinks.
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Old 06-04-2013, 06:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Earthworm View Post
They all have NPD. Why do they waste time diagnosing them.
"They all"?
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Old 06-04-2013, 07:18 PM
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It's been said that a lot of politicians have narcissistic personality disorder. I know the ex-governer of IL was diagnosed with it & is currently sitting in prison where he is taking alcohol rehab education. Liz, I guess my point is that your husband has a high position yet seems to think that he is above the rules. The DUI, driving with no license or seatbelt ect...However, sooner or later it stops working & he will have to face the consequences.
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Old 06-04-2013, 08:14 PM
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Liz, I don't mean to imply that your husband won't change. As a Buddhist I believe everybody changes, we all do it all the time. I just wanted to point out that his changes most likely will not be for the better.

Your friend,
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Old 06-05-2013, 10:56 AM
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Originally Posted by LaTeeDa View Post
I wanted to stay married. My AH wanted to stay married. From what I have read on this board, most people want to stay married. It's a matter of what each person is willing to do to make staying married tolerable (if not ideal). For me, the cost was too high--as in my signature.

And, maybe the cost hasn't been too high for me at this point? That's obviously something I need to determine.

I wanted to come on and apologize for not contributing back to this thread for a while, I almost forgot about it. We had a traumatic event happen on Friday night where my puppy and I were attacked by 2 American Bulldogs. Well, my puppy was attacked but I got in the middle of it because I couldn't get free from the leash and I tried to pry the one dog off my dog. The adrenaline and fear and anxiety of it all took a toll on me and for 2 days I could barely get off the couch. The pup was traumatized and has many wounds but he's alive. We're both alive, obviously. It's amazing how something like this made me forget all about my trials and other crap in my life.

My AH was pretty supportive during all of this. He took charge when I came in the door covered in my dog's poop, blood, and urine along with my own blood from cuts and scrapes I got in the scuffle. Yet, he always says something stupid to tick me off just when I was feeling I could turn to him for a hug or something. He said, "See, this is why I don't walk the dog in the neighborhood. I walk him at the park or in the desert." Ummm, I kept my mouth shut but my first thought was, "Soooo, walking the puppy in the dark in the desert with just a flashlight is better than me walking the dog, on a leash, on a well lit street in suburbia?" And, he seems to forget that the puppy was already attacked by a neighbor's pit bull a few months ago AT THE PARK. The desert has all kinds of critters and dangers so what the heck is the difference? The world has dangers, get over it. Then he said something about how he worries about me walking the dog in the evening and how after 20 minutes he knows something bad is going to happen. And, see, yes, something did happen, he was right just ask him.

I don't have the energy to argue with him anymore. I truly feel I was traumatized by the event. I met with animal control yesterday. I don't want their(my neighbors) dogs put down, I just want them to pay for my vet bills and to make sure they confine the dogs or repair the leash/collar situation. What had happened was that this guy's female broke her leash right at the collar, it literally snapped and she took off after us on the other side of the street. This guy came running to help me with his male dog on leash and then the male dog started attacking my dog from the rear while the female was locked on my pup's neck. So, then we had 2 dogs to pull off my pup. They claim the female was hormonal and she had just lost a puppy and that she might have been acting out of aggression because of her loss. I, quite frankly, didn't have much sympathy when I looked at my dog with staples, stitches, scrapes, puncture wounds, etc. I can only pray that my dog is young enough to recover emotionally from this. For now, he's skittish, barks at every noise he hears, and hates going outside at night. Just one more thing for me to have to work through. I swear I feel like I never get a break. And, yes, I'm having a pity party. Just feeling down right now.
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Old 06-05-2013, 10:59 AM
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Oh, Liz, I am so terribly sorry you had to endure that ordeal. Sending you strength, courage, and many many wishes for a speedy recovery for you both.
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Old 06-05-2013, 01:50 PM
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That really sucks! Irresponsible dog owners really tick me off! Not only should they have to pay your vet bill, but they should be cited and fined under whatever laws are applicable for dogs at large.

As far as the cost of staying married, I hate to say it, but it took some major pain and suffering for me to finally decide the cost was too high. I suppose it was all part of the learning I needed to do.

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Old 06-05-2013, 02:36 PM
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and we humans think we have problems...ppfftt!

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Old 06-05-2013, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by fourmaggie View Post
and we humans think we have problems...ppfftt!

Exactly. Poor puppy! I am so glad that he is doing better and recovering as best as he can each day. Although, I did find myself getting frustrated with him last night because he was TOO rambunctious and crazy and I was worried he'd tear his stitches and since I can't put his collar on him, it's hard to get a hold of him and get him on command. It's driving me crazy but I guess that's better than what really could have happened that night so I have to remind myself that it's temporary and that we'll be able to exercise him and play with him like normal soon.
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Old 06-05-2013, 04:23 PM
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Sorry Liz,

I hope your dog is better soon. Glad to hear that you are okay. My parents have an American Bulldog who growls a lot and keeping my kids away from the dog is always a point of contention.
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