JBird100

He was almost 1 yr. sober. He was always very into living a sober life. He's been drinking for 5 days straight. I feel so powerless. I just want our sober life back. It is such a destructive illness. It ages me and I'm extremely depressed. I know he'll get sober, but it will take some time. I really hate alcoholism. I am tired of how the destruction can turn your life upside down. Please pray for him to find the strength to stop now.

Recovering2

I am sooo sorry to hear your BF relapsed. It is a cunning, baffling disease. Make sure to take care of you during this time. ((( hugs )))

LexieCat

I know how disappointing this is--been there.

Yes, please take care of yourself. Can you get to an Al-Anon meeting? Those were my lifeline after my second husband went back to drinking after nearly dying of it.

skippernlilg

I'm so sorry. It's just happened to me, too. Well, I'm not absolutely sure mine was on the wagon to begin with now that I see what's around me. I'll update in a bit. But I wanted you to know that you are not alone. I'm getting myself straight to Al-anon and staying in touch here.

JBird100

LexieCat yes I need to go to a meeting. I don't know why this is so devastating, but it seems to get worse with each relapse. He was doing so well.
Skippernlilg, thanks it is always good to know I'm not the only one. I will keep in touch.
Thanks guys.

LexieCat

Yeah, sadly it DOES get worse with each relapse--for them, as well as for us.

Apparently he wasn't doing as well as it looked like he was. I've been told that the best thing we can do for them is to pray for them to get the gift of desperation. Hard to swallow, but I think it's true. I was at the end of my rope emotionally, spiritually, and nearing it physically when I finally quit drinking.

Hugs,

shil2587

Mine did something similar very recently. I was hurt and very angry with him but I could not let him know that because I knew it would make him feel much worse when he sobered up. Afterall no amount of my getting emotional would change anything. When he stopped drinking he took it as a launchpad to look at what he might've been doing wrong or what he could be doing better to stop himself falling back again. Now he has been almost 3 months and he is much more secure than last timenow he has been almost 3 months and he is much more secure than last time because he stopped to rethink his belief that head a handle on it. I know it's very hard, when my bf of a year relapsed I had this small voice in my head saying that if he really loved me he would not shut me out and choose to pick up the drink. Of course, that's nonsense, but it was only when he sat me down and said that the week he was drinking, after the first two days he was disgusted with himself and desperate to stop, but couldn't. He said he was too ashamed to contact me because he thought i would leave him. in the end, he got in touch and begged me to help him detox. He is now doing even better than before and I understand better what goes on inside his head.
You cannot stop him drinking, you cannot stop him wanting to drink, those thoughts will always be in his head. But you could perhaps take this as a stumble along a hike uphill. He will hopefully get up more determined than ever to succeed and may be able to do better as a result. If you would like to stay in touch (i know i would as i think we are in similar situations) then do message me. I hope he detoxes soon.

You are the best thing in his life right now and he is probably desperate to get back to you. Keep holding onto that.

shil2587

Apologies for typing issues. I am using my phone and it froze mid way.

PLH

It hurts every time they relapse, you are right it's a very destructive cycle.

I hope you get support at Al-Anon and he recovers......peace!