Divorce day tomorrow - need tips to calm myself

Old 05-29-2013, 08:48 PM
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Sending hugs!!! I expect to be going to court in a couple months for custody and $$ support. Right now I'm just looking at each day as being one day closer to freedom and starting a new life.
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Old 05-30-2013, 04:18 AM
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((((((((((mamakit))))))))))))

Just want you to know that I'll be thinking about you today.
I'm with you in spirit.
Your HP is holding you in the palm of his hand.
Things are going to go just as God has planned today.
You are a pillar of strength.
Huge hugs...and lots of support....
Mary
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Old 05-30-2013, 04:29 AM
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Thinking of you and sending prayers MamaKit! Just let me know if you would like the 'Codie Security Blanket'...it's back from the cleaners and stored in the lovely SR Cedar Chest at the moment
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Old 05-30-2013, 06:55 AM
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Good luck Mamkit! I hope you will feel a sense of relief and freedom today. The new chapter begins and its filled with happiness and opportunities. The world awaits you.
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Old 05-30-2013, 07:22 AM
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adding my PINK HUGS to the list of encouragement this morning!!!
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Old 05-30-2013, 08:58 AM
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Sending you lots of love & positive thoughts today MamaKit!!
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Old 05-30-2013, 09:05 AM
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:26 AM
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Sending lots of positive thoughts your way and hoping that today is going well or already has gone well for you!
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:46 AM
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Add me to the pack! Stay strong! You got your peeps with you!

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Old 05-30-2013, 12:24 PM
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Good Luck

Hope it all works out in your Favour ,Take Care
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Old 05-30-2013, 01:41 PM
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Wishing you strength, clarity and good fortune!
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Old 05-30-2013, 11:40 PM
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Just checking in to see how you're doing.
I know after my divorce hearing, all I wanted to do was go to bed and sleep. I had expected to feel ecstatic, but I felt just... empty.

Lots of hugs to you.
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Old 05-31-2013, 07:02 AM
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Update!!

Hello all.
So it is done. I got through it. I think I did the best I could possibly do.
We won't have a ruling for 60 days!!!! Ugh
I pick up the interim order today with regard to his contact with the children from now until then.
He didn't go down in flames as I expected. And I had no clear sense of what the judge was thinking - he is known for not reacting or showing his hand...as is appropriate I suppose.

My attorney tells me that I did really well. She says I hammered home that my concern was with my boys and protecting myself against his verbal abuse and efforts to control. I did not make it about him directly and come off as attacking him. She says I was a perfect witness. He was pro se...and declined to question me directly but just made his case on rebuttal.

He was all about him and money (of which he as none). He also had an excuse and an answer for everything. After a while, they really began to sound ridiculous.

His response to my re-telling of the DV incident last June was - "I didn't tell her that I would make our children parentless...I said that we were no good as parents when we act like this."

His response to getting kicked out of little league for being drunk and belligerent as a coach - was "that was a big misunderstanding, people at the game said - it is not like (name of STBAXH) to act that way, the umpire must be drinking - but meaning drinking in a joking way"

His response to all of the liquor bottles in the back of his work truck (when he was working) - was that those belonged to the workers on the jobsite, he just cleaned them up.

He spewed a lot of negativity about my friends, my family, how everyone thinks I'm perfect but I'm not...yadda yadda yadda. I think he painted a picture of himself that is a milder form of who he really is...but still likely gave the judge a good sense of the real guy.

The judge's BS meter had to have been hitting the red zone at some point. This judge has been around and he must be able to spot that kind of baloney.

On a bright note, I really did see you all there with me in that almost empty court room. I pictured, a pretty pink bag with birds, a dusty album with a heart, a basset hound's nose, a dancing little Amy with her hair in a bun, pink flowers, a fiery angel, a fuzzball, a wicked penguin, a hamster in a housecoat, etc.......all of you were there with me. I really felt that!

I was pretty spent after - it took all day. I went to my boys' baseball game after and crashed into bed after tucking them in.

I'm hoping that the judge's decision on our interim order for contact will give me some indication of how he may rule in the long term.
I will post on that when I get it this afternoon.

Again,
Thank you SR for all of your hugs and support
.

I will now focus on letting go and letting God.

Hugs,
MamaKit
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Old 05-31-2013, 08:26 AM
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On a bright note, I really did see you all there with me in that almost empty court room. I pictured, a pretty pink bag with birds, a dusty album with a heart, a basset hound's nose, a dancing little Amy with her hair in a bun, pink flowers, a fiery angel, a fuzzball, a wicked penguin, a hamster in a housecoat, etc.......all of you were there with me. I really felt that!
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Old 05-31-2013, 08:34 AM
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Originally Posted by MamaKit View Post
The judge's BS meter had to have been hitting the red zone at some point. This judge has been around and he must be able to spot that kind of baloney.
They are very good at spotting BS like that. Family court judges do that all day long, year after year, case after case. Could you imagine that? It would drive me nuts, you couldn't pay me enough to do that for a living.

What's funny to me is that I'm sure your ex though he had a real shot at convincing a judge that he was the good guy.. sheesh
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Old 05-31-2013, 08:45 AM
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Yeah Mamakit! This first BIG step is over and now you can exhale, you did GREAT! Praying that the judge will see this as well.
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Old 05-31-2013, 12:07 PM
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MamaKit!!

I'm so glad that part is over. What a relief!
I was thinking about you all day yesterday, sending positive energy.
I totally get how drained you were when it was over.
Your HP has this covered. I totally believe that. You're in great hands. All you have to do is take care of you and those precious boys of yours and let the rest take care of itself.
YOU DONE GREAT!!
Hooray Hooray!!
Big old hugs...
Mary
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Old 05-31-2013, 01:24 PM
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Proud of you! I gives me hope for being strong next week!

Kudos for you!!!!!!!!!!!

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Old 06-02-2013, 11:50 AM
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I went to the courthouse on Friday just before they closed and there was no interim order there for me! Judge is also on vacation all next week.
I have the protection order still in place that gives me sole rights with regard to the boys but it would have been nice to have that order as promised.
The clerk was going to follow up and just see if the paperwork slipped through the cracks.

Frustrating!

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Old 06-02-2013, 01:48 PM
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Ugh. Waiting's the worst. Hang tight, MamaKit!
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