What do I tell my parents?
 

My parents met today (they are divorced) to discuss how worried they are about my addict brother and what they can do to help him. They are aware that they also need help, which is huge progress. My step-mom told me my dad was going to call me tonight to ask me about resources (he knows about my struggles with aex)..

I feel like SR would be an amazing support for both my parents, but I don't necessarily want them reading everything I post here. (They'd be able to figure out DoS is me immediately). They'd be on the Friends and Families of Substance Abusers section while I only post here. Would that be separate enough to ensure privacy?
Does anyone know any other forums? Or anything else I could recommend to them?

I feel badly I am asking for all this advice and not really commenting on anyone else's stuff right now. When it rains it never fails to pour..

you could suggest Alanon and/or Naranon, or even some open AA/NA meetings. you could suggest reading material. SR has helped YOU and you need to feel like you have a safe place. I think for now it's ok to keep it to yourself! remember, we put our own oxygen mask on FIRST! :)

Al-Anon and Nar-Anon were around way before the Internet.

I don't think I'd particularly want my parents on the same forum where I post. I suppose you could tell them there are lots of resources on the Internet, and if they happen to come here, then they do.

Or if you don't think it would bother you for them to read about what you have posted, then go ahead and invite them. I guess I feel like if they found it on their own they might be less likely to assume you are on here, too.

Yeah, Anvil had another good idea--some open NA meetings might give them a better idea of what they are dealing with.

DoS, hopefully your brother and parents can find the peace they need. This is a great place to find support. I attend AA and al-anon, like many of us who struggle with more than one substance-related issue. So I assume I'm not the only one who looks at the alcohol/substance/friends&family forums. This could be a big help for your entire family so unfortunately you might want to consider changing your username. There's a chance they could stumble upon this site on their own, and anonymity is important for most people. Hopefully that helps a bit, good luck to you all!

What would the outcome be of them knowing what you've gone through? Would they be supportive if you opened up about it? I think if you're all very honest and help out each other that would be an ideal situation, but as I do not fully know your situation that is something you may need to figure out. Maybe see how they react to another site first before suggesting this one.

Thanks, everyone. I will definitely recommend NarAnon and some reading.. I wish my mom would find a good therapist but in my experience, they are really hard to find. I've had the worst luck with them for some reason.

If my parents read anything I wrote on here about them, they'd be so hurt it would end up affecting our relationship. And I just don't need the extra drama right now.

I'm happy they are finally realizing they need to do something, especially my mother who is the primary enabler. But I don't have a ton of hope for my brother. He's 40 and my mom is 70. She's an ACOA, and has never dealt with any of her issues. Can someone change at 70? My brother has been doing drugs since he was 13.. Gosh, it's depressing.

Anyway, I really need SR for myself right now. It helps me more than Alanon and therapy.

Is Nar-Anon for families or the addicts themselves? My mother would never go for people thinking she was the addict. She's totally concerned with what people think of her.

Nar-Anon is for families/loved ones. NA (Narcotics Anonymous) is for addicts.

But going to an open NA meeting might be very enlightening for her. She might be more comfy if someone else went with her, but open NA meetings, like open AA meetings, are for anyone who wants to see what it's about. She wouldn't be expected to say anything at an NA meeting, and if for some reason they were going around the room, all she would have to do is to say she is just visiting.

There is an online site called In the Rooms which is great. It had AlAnon and NarAnon chat boards. They can also do some online meetings via Skype. We have quite a few family members of those struggling with drug addiction in my face to face AlAnon meeting.

Thank you!!! These are great ideas that I already shared with my dad. We'll see what happens. I don't know how to hope for change and stay detached.