advice
 

My husband now says he wants to stop drinking. He is a police officer and is scared the force will find out his history. Can he do aa anonymous or via phone. We are not in america.

The other day he got aggressive and wouldn't let me leave the house after drinking. He seems very remorseful and says that he will leave if that is what I want him to do. I hsve 3 young kids...I just want to see if thjs is genuine.

He has never promised to gjve up completely before.

What would be a good plan? I am still really emotionally fragile from the other day and have not yet gone to al anon.

The most important thing is to protect your children and yourself. If you think he might physically harm you, then do whatever is necessary to get away from him. Whatever he may promise means NOTHING. Words out of an addicts mouth are meaningless. Protect yourself and your children.

Yes, there are two issues going on here. His abuse of you, and his drinking. While they may be somewhat related, they are two separate issues.

Domestic violence in law enforcement families can be extra dangerous. For one thing, many police officers have firearms (in some countries officers are not armed, so I don't know if that is a concern for you). For another, here in the U.S., anyway, a report of domestic violence can cause the officer to lose his job--so any official reports will be considered a threat to the officer's livelihood--which can cause the abuse to escalate.

I know that here, there are AA groups specifically for police officers. I would suggest he contact AA and ask if any such groups exist. Most departments here in the U.S. would not penalize an officer for getting help with a drinking or drug problem. Without knowing more about the department policies where you live, it's hard to say.

There are some online AA groups--if you do an online search you will find them. I'm in AA myself, and I think that in-person meetings are much, MUCH more helpful. AA really IS an anonymous program. I have never heard of someone losing his or her job because of being in AA. For one thing, I've never heard of anyone at a meeting "outing" another member.

I hope YOU will get some help for yourself. Al-Anon is a great resource for family members of alcoholics.