I need yall NOW.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 41
I need yall NOW.
AH just sent a letter.
Those not familiar with me. AH went in rehab last July came home September. Relapsed Nov. started using cocaine, staying in hotel after I kicked him out then spent days in countless bars and strip clubs all day long till march. Went back to rehab march 4. Out April 14. Relapsed and overdosed within 8 days. After hospital stay for od he still went out and used the next day. Called me and I delivered him back to rehab. They accepted him, but said it would have to AT LEAST be a 90 day program and we had to pay up front.
He's been in 3 weeks and 4 days. He took me and his mother (everyone) off the hipaa form a week ago because we reported him for making phone calls. He was not supposed to have phone privileges for first 30 days. So they won't tell us anything. His letters make no sense and say the same thing as last rehabs. Plus he's still lying, trying to control and manipulate through his letters. I have not responded to any of it. I send him a very emotionally detached letter updating him on kids and nothing else.
Today's letter says he is processing out next Wednesday!!!????!!! And he wants me to pick him up!? He needs to come home and be with his family, his head is clear, he loves me blah blah blah!!!! And PS. Get me a phone!!!
#1. Heck no! I will not be picking your azz up.
#2. No. You will not come home. I will not put my kids through this. And from now on, I'm not accepting anything I wouldn't want my daughter to accept from her husband.
#3. You used your phone to call strippers, coke dealers etc. heII no, I will not get you a new one. Figure it out!
Forgot to mention AH cant drive because of Multi DUIs. But he's been successful in business and has access to $. His family runs the business right now with limited POA. So again, it will be me living in a car so he can go work out, go to meetings etc. plus I have a very active 17 year old and a 2 year old and my oldest daughter (25) is expecting a baby in July.
We did get march man act papers prepared for this day and they are at the rehab facility, because of total dysfunction and overdose episode. However! The judge has signed them but they will place him in mental hospital for 5 days to be evaluated and then return him to posh Florida rehab condo on sandy white beaches. Only then he can not leave and judge will reevaluate his progress every 30 days. Problem. Rehab doctor doesn't want him placed in mental hospital for the 5 days! I signed them. How can he( the doctor) decide to not use them when this is why we had them done??? And before you start asking: no! My motivation is not to make him get help! Read previous posts. This man is out of control! He's headed to death or prison. I no longer want him to get well for me because I don't even know my roll in his life. But he cannot keep burning through the business money, terrorizing everyone. Period.
Please tell me what's next. What should I do other than not show up to get him or allow him in my home? I need rational advice. His family wants me to threaten rehab since they made us pay up front and even if they aren't aware of his plans next week, with this letter they will be!
Those not familiar with me. AH went in rehab last July came home September. Relapsed Nov. started using cocaine, staying in hotel after I kicked him out then spent days in countless bars and strip clubs all day long till march. Went back to rehab march 4. Out April 14. Relapsed and overdosed within 8 days. After hospital stay for od he still went out and used the next day. Called me and I delivered him back to rehab. They accepted him, but said it would have to AT LEAST be a 90 day program and we had to pay up front.
He's been in 3 weeks and 4 days. He took me and his mother (everyone) off the hipaa form a week ago because we reported him for making phone calls. He was not supposed to have phone privileges for first 30 days. So they won't tell us anything. His letters make no sense and say the same thing as last rehabs. Plus he's still lying, trying to control and manipulate through his letters. I have not responded to any of it. I send him a very emotionally detached letter updating him on kids and nothing else.
Today's letter says he is processing out next Wednesday!!!????!!! And he wants me to pick him up!? He needs to come home and be with his family, his head is clear, he loves me blah blah blah!!!! And PS. Get me a phone!!!
#1. Heck no! I will not be picking your azz up.
#2. No. You will not come home. I will not put my kids through this. And from now on, I'm not accepting anything I wouldn't want my daughter to accept from her husband.
#3. You used your phone to call strippers, coke dealers etc. heII no, I will not get you a new one. Figure it out!
Forgot to mention AH cant drive because of Multi DUIs. But he's been successful in business and has access to $. His family runs the business right now with limited POA. So again, it will be me living in a car so he can go work out, go to meetings etc. plus I have a very active 17 year old and a 2 year old and my oldest daughter (25) is expecting a baby in July.
We did get march man act papers prepared for this day and they are at the rehab facility, because of total dysfunction and overdose episode. However! The judge has signed them but they will place him in mental hospital for 5 days to be evaluated and then return him to posh Florida rehab condo on sandy white beaches. Only then he can not leave and judge will reevaluate his progress every 30 days. Problem. Rehab doctor doesn't want him placed in mental hospital for the 5 days! I signed them. How can he( the doctor) decide to not use them when this is why we had them done??? And before you start asking: no! My motivation is not to make him get help! Read previous posts. This man is out of control! He's headed to death or prison. I no longer want him to get well for me because I don't even know my roll in his life. But he cannot keep burning through the business money, terrorizing everyone. Period.
Please tell me what's next. What should I do other than not show up to get him or allow him in my home? I need rational advice. His family wants me to threaten rehab since they made us pay up front and even if they aren't aware of his plans next week, with this letter they will be!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 267
Wow. It sounds like you are doing everything you can for now.
Question, and forgive me if you covered this in an earlier post, but if you are to that level of fed up, why not just cut ties? That sounds like the logical next step to me, especially if you are to the point of not caring anymore.
Question, and forgive me if you covered this in an earlier post, but if you are to that level of fed up, why not just cut ties? That sounds like the logical next step to me, especially if you are to the point of not caring anymore.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm sorry, I don't know much about the Marchman Act. Usually if the court has signed an Order, it has to be complied with. Did you have an attorney for the proceedings? If so, I suggest you contact him or her.
Now, assuming they DO release him, you can tell him you don't want him at home, but if he is on the lease or the deed, I don't see how you can keep him out unless you had a restraining order. In that case, your only option is probably to leave, yourself, or to contact an attorney about separation/divorce proceedings giving you a temporary right to the residence.
Really, at this point you should probably consult a lawyer anyway. You need to have your rights protected.
Now, assuming they DO release him, you can tell him you don't want him at home, but if he is on the lease or the deed, I don't see how you can keep him out unless you had a restraining order. In that case, your only option is probably to leave, yourself, or to contact an attorney about separation/divorce proceedings giving you a temporary right to the residence.
Really, at this point you should probably consult a lawyer anyway. You need to have your rights protected.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 41
I do love him, but can't live with alcohol and drugs. I will find out why the have kept paperwork on file and didn't follow through and what if anything we can do at this point.
I have not seen attorney yet because I'm being given set amount of money for bills, groceries etc. yes. He's doing that on purpose IMO.
Meeting with family in the morning to discuss options. But wanted outside insight because we are all emotionally attached but all exhausted by this past year.
Please pray because I'm ready to blow!!!!!
I have not seen attorney yet because I'm being given set amount of money for bills, groceries etc. yes. He's doing that on purpose IMO.
Meeting with family in the morning to discuss options. But wanted outside insight because we are all emotionally attached but all exhausted by this past year.
Please pray because I'm ready to blow!!!!!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
nh,
You should consult an attorney ANYWAY. Trust me, there are things you need to know to protect yourself financially and in terms of your security in your house, etc.
Yes, I'm sure everyone--including his family--are about on their last nerve.
Hugs, keep us posted. Do NOT panic. You will come up with a game plan. You are gonna be OK. Keep breathing.
You should consult an attorney ANYWAY. Trust me, there are things you need to know to protect yourself financially and in terms of your security in your house, etc.
Yes, I'm sure everyone--including his family--are about on their last nerve.
Hugs, keep us posted. Do NOT panic. You will come up with a game plan. You are gonna be OK. Keep breathing.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Originally Posted by nothopeful1 
I'm being given set amount of money for bills, groceries etc. yes. He's doing that on purpose IMO.
As far as meeting with family......take what you like and leave the rest (Alanon slogan). They will offer their opinions, but a lawyer will tell you what your LEGAL rights are in this situation.
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