It's the weekend: is you A into HIGH drama?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
It's the weekend: is you A into HIGH drama?
Yeah, my "drama queen" started right on schedule - about an hour ago. I just shrugged it off. Does anyone else here have to put up with this crap all weekend/every weekend????
Bottom line: this guy has a "mommy problem" and now I'm the bad mommy and he is the whining baby boy who is having tantrums just to get attention. I just shrugged off tonight because I realize this behavior will esaclate throughout the weekend. I already have my escape plan in place to go run errands like crazy the next two days, pray he doesn't let my cats outside just to be a vindictive so-and-so (they'll run away since they're indoor kitties), and detach from this crap.
I watched him throw a few remotes across the upstairs t.v. room tonight just because I asked him why the sound wasn't coming through our speakers. Plenty of sound through the t.v. but no sound through the five surround-sound speakers we have hooked up. He kept getting crazier and more emotional about it. I just said, "So we only have t.v. sound for now. Worry about it another time. No big deal. I just thought I'd hit a wrong button on the remote." Jeesh! He just kept having a fit even though nobody was fueling his tantrum!
Then he accused me of taking the "better couch" in the basement where it's much cooler to sleep in this heat.
ME: "Both sleep sofas are identical. Come downstairs. What difference does it make what sofa you sleep on if you're cool and comfortable?"
HIM: "You ALWAYS want the BETTER sofa!!! I'll just sleep upstairs."
ME: "Fine. Do as you please."
HEY EVERYBODY WELCOME TO MY LATEST WEEKEND FROM HELL .... WHAT WILL MY AH DO NEXT???? Ahhh ..... the joy of marital bliss .... the satisfaction of someone desperately wanting me to be their toxic waste dump and going INSANE that I won't buy into the role I've been assigned!
Bottom line: this guy has a "mommy problem" and now I'm the bad mommy and he is the whining baby boy who is having tantrums just to get attention. I just shrugged off tonight because I realize this behavior will esaclate throughout the weekend. I already have my escape plan in place to go run errands like crazy the next two days, pray he doesn't let my cats outside just to be a vindictive so-and-so (they'll run away since they're indoor kitties), and detach from this crap.
I watched him throw a few remotes across the upstairs t.v. room tonight just because I asked him why the sound wasn't coming through our speakers. Plenty of sound through the t.v. but no sound through the five surround-sound speakers we have hooked up. He kept getting crazier and more emotional about it. I just said, "So we only have t.v. sound for now. Worry about it another time. No big deal. I just thought I'd hit a wrong button on the remote." Jeesh! He just kept having a fit even though nobody was fueling his tantrum!
Then he accused me of taking the "better couch" in the basement where it's much cooler to sleep in this heat.
ME: "Both sleep sofas are identical. Come downstairs. What difference does it make what sofa you sleep on if you're cool and comfortable?"
HIM: "You ALWAYS want the BETTER sofa!!! I'll just sleep upstairs."
ME: "Fine. Do as you please."
HEY EVERYBODY WELCOME TO MY LATEST WEEKEND FROM HELL .... WHAT WILL MY AH DO NEXT???? Ahhh ..... the joy of marital bliss .... the satisfaction of someone desperately wanting me to be their toxic waste dump and going INSANE that I won't buy into the role I've been assigned!
That STINKS!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Backwoods, PA
Posts: 223
I certainly can relate. Most people can look forward to the weekends. It truly makes life hell. There is NO pleasing them. He stayed home last night. Kept coming into the room where I was trying to read and kept trying desperately to get an argument going with me. I wouldn't take the bait!!!!! He wanted to fight sooo bad, but it takes two to fight. After making rude, hurtful, and cutting comments all night, he decides he's going to come to bed with me. First time in months. He thought he might 'get lucky' after being an ignorant a**hole all evening. Didn't happen!
This is no way for anyone to live and I'm gradually learning to love myself more than the need for a 'relationship'.
Maybe some of you can answer this question for me or at least let me know if your A does this to you. They constantly talk down to you, criticize everything you do, try to destroy your self esteem, and then WONDER WHY you don't want to have sex with them anymore? Can anyone else relate???
This is no way for anyone to live and I'm gradually learning to love myself more than the need for a 'relationship'.
Maybe some of you can answer this question for me or at least let me know if your A does this to you. They constantly talk down to you, criticize everything you do, try to destroy your self esteem, and then WONDER WHY you don't want to have sex with them anymore? Can anyone else relate???
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Georgia
Posts: 341
I can sooooo relate! I can't stand to have him touch me anymore after all of the verbal abuse for all of these years. They can only think of their own needs, never anyone elses. Mine always gives me the whaaaaa! "You don't love me anymore" and once said "guys that don't get IT at home go out and drink." Oh boy, now that puts ME in the mood--not!!! 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Anywhere but here
Posts: 44
Here's my wonderful weekend story. My A comes home from work last night (after his 2 hour stop at the bar like every night) and I'm a little bummed. He keeps asking what is wrong. I finally tell him that I get lonely because he's working afternoons and nights and it would be nice if he came home after work some times instead of going to the bar EVERY night. He just hugged me and said "I come home by the time we agreed on." I didn't say anymore cuz I knew it was a lost battle.
Now today we have plans to go to a steak feed later. They don't start serving until 5 p.m. I had to work until noon and I could tell when I got home that he was drunk, or high, or both. I asked him if he had been outside at all and he said "no. I've been watching t.v. all morning." Ok. So then I ask him why the tv is on mute. He thought about it for a while and said he put it on mute when I called from work. I said "Oh really. You've had the tv on mute and you've been watching it like that for the past 2 hours?" He said "No. I've been outside." I kinda blew up. I haven't said anything about it lately, but I'm so sick of his cr@p and his lies! I told him I think one of his drug buddies came over and he went outside to do his drugs. He said "That's what you think?" I said "yes i do." So he told me to think whatever I wanted to and I dropped it.
I've been soooo tired lately that I haven't been able to do any housework, so I turned the radio on and started doing dishes. He was shaving. He actually took a shower. That in itself is amazing. When he got done he went and sat on the couch and I told him he could turn the radio off if he wanted to watch tv. He said he was sick of sitting around the house and he wanted to go somewhere. I told him I wasn't going anywhere until I at least got the dishes done, but if he wanted to go then go. So he sat there thinking about it for a couple minutes and then he got ready to go and came into the kitchen and gave me a hug and tried to turn everything around on me. He said "I'm sorry, but you always say you want to go do something and now you don't." I told him I would go do something after I got done cleaning. So he left. I looked in the fridge and he was out of beer. That's what that was all about.
But I didn't care that he left. I'm so sick of putting up with a drunk EVERY weekend that I would just rather have him gone. Tomorrow I have to work all day so I'm sure I will come home to a drunk puddle. Yippee! Another weekend just like every other weekend.
Now today we have plans to go to a steak feed later. They don't start serving until 5 p.m. I had to work until noon and I could tell when I got home that he was drunk, or high, or both. I asked him if he had been outside at all and he said "no. I've been watching t.v. all morning." Ok. So then I ask him why the tv is on mute. He thought about it for a while and said he put it on mute when I called from work. I said "Oh really. You've had the tv on mute and you've been watching it like that for the past 2 hours?" He said "No. I've been outside." I kinda blew up. I haven't said anything about it lately, but I'm so sick of his cr@p and his lies! I told him I think one of his drug buddies came over and he went outside to do his drugs. He said "That's what you think?" I said "yes i do." So he told me to think whatever I wanted to and I dropped it.
I've been soooo tired lately that I haven't been able to do any housework, so I turned the radio on and started doing dishes. He was shaving. He actually took a shower. That in itself is amazing. When he got done he went and sat on the couch and I told him he could turn the radio off if he wanted to watch tv. He said he was sick of sitting around the house and he wanted to go somewhere. I told him I wasn't going anywhere until I at least got the dishes done, but if he wanted to go then go. So he sat there thinking about it for a couple minutes and then he got ready to go and came into the kitchen and gave me a hug and tried to turn everything around on me. He said "I'm sorry, but you always say you want to go do something and now you don't." I told him I would go do something after I got done cleaning. So he left. I looked in the fridge and he was out of beer. That's what that was all about.
But I didn't care that he left. I'm so sick of putting up with a drunk EVERY weekend that I would just rather have him gone. Tomorrow I have to work all day so I'm sure I will come home to a drunk puddle. Yippee! Another weekend just like every other weekend.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ayer's Cliff, Quebec
Posts: 803
Prodigal,
Don't forget you are dealing with very emotionally immature individuals.
In A.A we say that when we started using and drinking is the age we stopped maturing.
A's especially active ones don't handle stress very well no matter how big or small. Plus like to behave in ways that they feel will get them attention.
Ngaire
Don't forget you are dealing with very emotionally immature individuals.
In A.A we say that when we started using and drinking is the age we stopped maturing.
A's especially active ones don't handle stress very well no matter how big or small. Plus like to behave in ways that they feel will get them attention.
Ngaire
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