Tryingtoletgo3

Well, we went to court today. STBXAH agreed to most of my requests. I have sole legal and physical custody and he has supervised visitation with a professional supervisor! I feel so relieved. It is provisional, so we have to revisit it in a month or so, but for now....our son is safe!!

MamaKit

YaY!!!!!
Hugs,
MamaKit

SparkleKitty

Wonderful news!! SO happy for you!!!

theuncertainty

Great news! and I agree with MamaKit:

wicked

Okay, it is time to look up the cheerleader girl!





Wonderful news.


Beth

Archangelesk

Oh, thank god.

You fought the good fight today. What an amazing mama!

Tryingtoletgo3

The kicker....when we were done, I offered to bring our son to the courthouse for STBXAH to see him since he was at my parents a block away and he hasn't seen him for months.....he said no. He had plans and didn't want to see him!!! It was absolute validation to me that he isn't fighting me becaus e he loves our son and wants to be a part of his life. He looked terrible, swollen and obviously actively drinking. It was easier to see him than I expected. I no longer felt love or longing...I actually felt pity for him. He looked like a miserable drunk, broken and sick. I've cried happy tears all day knowing that the mental and emotional hold he held over me is GONE! I forged through his sick game of control and manipulation head on and I beat him at his own game. He will never NEVER have control over me in any way again. Today was a huge victory for my son, but it was an even bigger victory for me personally. Codependent with him no more!! I have been holding his property for a long time and today I officially gave it back to him to hold for himself! Thank you all for the support. You have been a source of strength and inspiration and I will continue to utilize your knowledge and care as we cntinue through this divorce journey..

LexieCat

How awesomely excellent! You know, of course, there may well be challenges down the road, but this initial victory should give you a shot of confidence going forward.

Remember this, too, as an example of the uselessness of catastrophizing and assuming the worst will happen. The memory may come in handy the next time you are feeling scared and overwhelmed.

Great goin'!

lillamy

I'm in tears here with you. Only a parent can understand the terror you feel at the thought of being forces to send your precious child off to a person who is not a safe caretaker.

I am so relieved for you and your sweet boy. It is heartbreaking that your ex is unable to even care, but as people here have told me so many times over the years, having an alcoholic father is worse than having no father.

Lots of love to you. I hope you can breathe easier now.

Tryingtoletgo3

Lexiecat- you are so right about catastrophizing. I know we have a long road ahead of us. This was only a provisional hearing and we will have to do this all again at the final divorce hearing and again when the baby is born. I feel like I am ready now though. I was so afraid of him and h so worried that my heart would take over and overwhelm me. He looked so damn pathetic though and he had his mom with him screaming at the lawyer she was in such a panic. It made me realize how amazingly peaceful life has been without him, that he can't hit me anymore or hurt the boys. I don't have to spend my nights locked in a bedroom with my kids and a dresser in front of the door to keep him out....I know there is a long battle ahead of us, but I feel strong and energized and capable of fighting it now.