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OK, I hit bottom. My house is COMPLETELY unmanageable.

Old 05-19-2013, 01:11 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Lexie, Craigslist is a good idea. I got rid of a lot of stuff during my last move--just advertised it for free if someone would just pick it up!! Saves the expense, trouble and labor of hauling it away.

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Old 05-19-2013, 01:35 PM
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Sweetie, you can DO this. Just take it slowly, one little step at a time. And reward yourself when you've done something. It's probably not that much unlike getting sober. There's a lot of cleaning up, and it takes a long time, but it's worth it. I'd be proud to visit you, no matter what the house is like. It's not the house people are visiting, it's the amazing person within!
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Old 05-19-2013, 02:14 PM
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Sorry I'm late to this thread, I was painting in the basement. No kidding!

Sounds like hiring an organizer is the right way to start, then having a cleaning crew on a regular will work wonders. Being the good project person you are just run with the "plan" from the organizer and you'll have this licked in no time. Save the basement for last because of the litigation but don't let that stop you from starting.

I've made quite the project out of my house over the years and today is the thirteenth anniversary of settlement. This year was the remodel of the master bath with travertine and a new roof replacing the nineteen year old original. I had three basement windows replaced and I was painting the trim just today. Funny timing on your thread!

One thing that worked wonders for me was purging crap that I don't need anymore. I hired the 800 Got Junk folks and they carted away half a truck full of carp I don't need, want or use anymore. It feels great to purge crap.
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Old 05-19-2013, 02:15 PM
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I love this thread and can't resist sharing... My sister died shortly after I moved into my current place so nothing got unpacked. Chaos begat chaos and my depression got worse just because of the damn mess I was living in. After a couple of years of drowining in the mess,I finally decided I couldn't handle anything anymore and was going to sell the place--at the bottom of the market. A very pushy realtor came in and totally took over. She organized the contractors to paint, redo the floors, and fix all the punch list stuff. I knew I had to get my personal affairs cleaned up or they'd disappear amongst all the work going on. In six weeks, the house was immaculate and ready to go on the market. I couldn't sell it for what I needed to get out of it so I am still in it.

The key to getting my place sorted out was DEADLINES. It took the overthinking part of it out and lit a fire under my a$$.

Lexie, you will get your place fixed up and tidy. It's great you hired that professional organizer.
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Old 05-19-2013, 02:29 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Thanks, Jazz,

Your place sounds awesome! I had all kinds of plans at one time, and it was so discouraging to have all those setbacks. I can't even THINK of selling this place until the foundation is fixed, and I know that no matter what happens I will lose money on the house. Oh, well, I didn't buy it for the investment. It is a roof over my head. I'm not in a hurry to move (though I need to get the foundation fixed for "someday"), but I am sick of not feeling at home in my own house.

Oh, and Dreams, I totally get you on the deadlines. They light a fire under me, too. Actually, that is how I am treating my son's visit later this summer--as a deadline. Everything doesn't have to be perfect, and I don't care if the basement looks like an unfinished garage, as long as the main living areas are habitable.

You guys are all so encouraging--I am feeling better already. LOL, in the course of cleaning out/organizing my clothes closets (I actually went from having three overstuffed closets to two that are roomy), I filled one and a half contractor's bags with clothes hangers. I stepped on, and tripped over them every time I went in. I threw out all but a handful of wire clothes hangers and had enough of the plastic ones from the store to put ALL my remaining stuff on. Joan Crawford would be so proud.
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Old 05-19-2013, 03:10 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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my home is my sanctuary...I try to treat it the same exact way I work...if you let it get disorganized and out of control it reflects on my entire mindset.

Lexie, get people in there to work as hard as you do and get it done, then keep on top of it...donate to charity and get the tax receipts for your donations. I shred daily and the mail never even comes into the house.

I gutted 3 rooms down to the studs and never regretted it...next is the biggest job, remodeling the kitchen...only i have the obstacle of not enough $$ to finish this now...soon, soon!
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:05 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
I threw out all but a handful of wire clothes hangers and had enough of the plastic ones from the store to put ALL my remaining stuff on. Joan Crawford would be so proud.
My kids look at me sooo funny when we get dry cleaning and I'm putting it away snarling, "no more wire hangers!"
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:16 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Bluegalangal View Post
My kids look at me sooo funny when we get dry cleaning and I'm putting it away snarling, "no more wire hangers!"
My ex was the same way, always getting rid of the wire hangers I would bring home from the drycleaners. I actually prefer the wire hangers with the sticky cardboard for my dress slacks. With other hangers, I have to fight to keep them from sliding off and eventually onto the floor when I rummage through the closet. There is nothing more infuriating than wanting to wear a particular pair of slacks, only to find them wrinkled and bunched up behind the laundry basket.

I guess I get it now - they are unsightly, but who looks in my closet anyway?
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:25 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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lexi - hank and I bought our house 7 years ago....right in the listing it said "bring your sweat equity" - we got in a program with NO money down, accepted the appraisal AS IS, and here we are. work in progress.

about a month ago, we were looking out at the yard outside the front door (we have like three sections of yard - the upper drive way yard, the middle yard by the front door and the out back yard by the lake). and we saw these "new" white blooming flowers??? it was raining that day so we grabbed the binoculars, and I determined it looked like a camellia blossom. next change I had when the rain stopped I went out, and there was a LARGE, very established cameiia bush - wedged in between the burning bush and the lilac!!!!

I thought at first, ok, who snuck in my yard and planted this?? but it had been here the whole time!!? 7 years and i'm just now FINDING mysteries in my yard. key word MY yard. yeah I know right now your place is a mess, all torn up needing much repair. but it's YOURS honey. we often wonder just what the hell we got ourselves into....I mean there is so much to do...it's a big sloped piece of property, fricking old growth trees all around (I know, boo hoo huh?), and you could spend a week on ONE section and hardly make a dent. but sh*t, what else we got going right? beats the hell about of being holed up, all windows and doors shut and covered, smoking crack!
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:38 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
but sh*t, what else we got going right? beats the hell about of being holed up, all windows and doors shut and covered, smoking crack!
LOL, yup, when you put it that way...

Actually, if it was in this kind of shape when I BOUGHT it I wouldn't feel so bad about it. But like I said, the people I bought it from had taken SUCH good care of it, and they would probably have a stroke if they saw it now. I cannot blame them for any of the stuff that happened, either, it all just happened to occur on my watch.

Your flowers and stuff sound lovely! LOL, the only new discoveries I seem to make around here are things that cost me money.

Oh, well. Went to my home group meeting tonight. Awesome speaker--a lady I've known slightly from the group for a year, and her story was about her relapse after fifteen years sober. She has over a year again, now, and she was very brave to share her story (it wasn't easy for her). So, yeah, lots to be grateful for.
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:43 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
lexi - hank and I bought our house 7 years ago....right in the listing it said "bring your sweat equity" - we got in a program with NO money down, accepted the appraisal AS IS, and here we are. work in progress.

about a month ago, we were looking out at the yard outside the front door (we have like three sections of yard - the upper drive way yard, the middle yard by the front door and the out back yard by the lake). and we saw these "new" white blooming flowers??? it was raining that day so we grabbed the binoculars, and I determined it looked like a camellia blossom. next change I had when the rain stopped I went out, and there was a LARGE, very established cameiia bush - wedged in between the burning bush and the lilac!!!!

I thought at first, ok, who snuck in my yard and planted this?? but it had been here the whole time!!? 7 years and i'm just now FINDING mysteries in my yard. key word MY yard. yeah I know right now your place is a mess, all torn up needing much repair. but it's YOURS honey. we often wonder just what the hell we got ourselves into....I mean there is so much to do...it's a big sloped piece of property, fricking old growth trees all around (I know, boo hoo huh?), and you could spend a week on ONE section and hardly make a dent. but sh*t, what else we got going right? beats the hell about of being holed up, all windows and doors shut and covered, smoking crack!
Oh [email protected], you made me laugh. Thank you for that !!!!!
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:55 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Lexie,

If it is seeming overwhelming right now, it sounds like you have some room down the basement. Try getting some containers, try labeling it, like paperwork stuff, clothes, other sh!t, I meant stuff, get rid of them by putting it down the bsmt for when your son comes to visit. Then after visit, your house will still look nice and clean, and you might be motivated to actually go thru the bins of stuff.

I was always good at the "last moment" things. But no one every really knew of all the clutter that I had so neatly stacked in my "bins".

I know that it might sound like I just bought a house, didn't take my furniture or whatever, but I did go back to my house before it was sold and took like 25 years of clothing and just junk.

I keep putting off things, because I don't want the memories, but thank you so much for this thread. I did put it on my list for this week to start going through all of this stuff.
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Old 05-19-2013, 07:08 PM
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Originally Posted by amy55 View Post

I keep putting off things, because I don't want the memories, but thank you so much for this thread. I did put it on my list for this week to start going through all of this stuff.
Awww. ****{hugs}}}

I am about to start that process this summer and I'm not really looking forward to it one. tiny. bit.
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Old 05-19-2013, 07:09 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Well, I lightened my "storage load" a whole lot when the sewer backed up. Trust me, when stuff is soaked with crap, it becomes quite easy to part with. Unfortunately, some sentimental stuff, like my mom's wedding dress, were casualties. Of course, I looked at the dress maybe once every 15 years or so, so I guess I can live without it.

But yeah, using the basement will definitely be an option right before his visit. I'm hoping, though, that this will be doable in the amount of time I have. The flooring is the other big issue--I will have to replace it, upstairs and down, and I have been dithering over Pergo versus carpet. Part of me wants the Pergo, at least downstairs, but this is another decision I have gotten paralyzed on.

Actually, getting the closets done this weekend energized me a bit. I got overwhelmed first thing every day when I saw them. Plus there is already more room, since stuff was starting to trail out of them.
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Old 05-19-2013, 07:31 PM
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Lexie,

It seems like you really want to love your house. I do not like pergo. To me it seems cheap. It's like a look alike for a wood floor, but not actually there. I have been looking through a lot of different materials for a floor recently. If you like the wood look, but want something that is more substanable (don't even know if that is a word), but I found a ceramic tile that looks like wood. They mostly come in 6 inch x 24 inch. I think you might love that look. Then you can throw in some rugs to give it some warmth. Can look at this online at home depot or lowes

Just want to add in: sorry to all the people who have pergo floors, but once you have a flood on it, it is so expensive to redo it. I had also considered pergo floors. But ceramic tiles did not cost that much more. They do not scratch, do not have to be refinished, and Lexie has the money to do this.
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Old 05-19-2013, 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted by amy55 View Post
Lexie,

It seems like you really want to love your house. I do not like pergo. To me it seems cheap. It's like a look alike for a wood floor, but not actually there. I have been looking through a lot of different materials for a floor recently. If you like the wood look, but want something that is more substanable (don't even know if that is a word), but I found a ceramic tile that looks like wood. They mostly come in 6 inch x 24 inch. I think you might love that look. Then you can throw in some rugs to give it some warmth. Can look at this online at home depot or lowes

Just want to add in: sorry to all the people who have pergo floors, but once you have a flood on it, it is so expensive to redo it. I had also considered pergo floors. But ceramic tiles did not cost that much more. They do not scratch, do not have to be refinished, and Lexie has the money to do this.

I have Pergo and I hate it. It was a big mistake not spending the money for real wood to begin with.
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Old 05-19-2013, 08:11 PM
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I do not know what you mean by upstairs and downstairs. Is downstairs the basement? Or is downstairs the first level, you know kitchen, living room etc, and bedrooms upstairs.
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Old 05-19-2013, 08:20 PM
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Hey Lexie,

I like the look of pergo too. I did not know the problems it has when wet.
I saw some bamboo that was beautiful and sustainable.
I would not know, but I look all the time.
My dream house has not happened yet, my plan to escape this apartment is all coming together.
Searching for an apartment to live cheaply while I look for that VA home loan house I can turn into a home.
Wherever I live looks like I just got there, and have not finished unpacking.
Growing up in the military.

Lexie, you mentioned one time about your foundation and it sounded like an overwhelming problem (to me) but you are hanging in there and doing what has to be done.
That is what we do. Yup, I am going to look up that web site too.
I tend to pile up paper. I am embarrassed to admit that one of my debts did not get discharged with my bankruptcy because of my poor organization.
(My daughter's court costs, I am sure there is something I am supposed to learn here.)

Lexie, I am really glad I know you. I appreciate what you do everyday. I would love to help you get your house comfortable for you.
I can lift that barge, tote that bale and obey orders! LOL Much easier than what is happening in this apartment now, but that is for another post.

Anvilhead, you and Hank got a camellia bush? NO FAIR! They are hard to grow, and to get them established is a miracle. Wow. I am jealous.
Oh yeah, and raptors coming by every once in a while. Hmph. Really, I am so delighted for you, because what happens for you is possible for me.
Some of that dang recovery stuff.

Gotta love SR,

Beth
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Old 05-19-2013, 08:38 PM
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Lexie,

What i am seeing is that you are losing your "mojo". Make that house into what you want it to be. You talk about replacing floors. Make that special to you. One step at a time, one room at a time. Make it into your own sanctuary, make it someplace that you want to be in.

Give it your own taste, I don't know what your taste may be. I'm still having a problem with knowing, remembering thing that I like, and what my own taste would be.

Start with one room, the easiest one. Get it to where you feel comfortable in it. Then take your time and relax. Then envision another room, etc....

You will get there. I know you will. You are strong, and you are determined.
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Old 05-19-2013, 10:07 PM
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I hired a personal oragnizer. I am horrible at filing, and was having trouble keeping up once the husband dropped out of household participation.

Not only did she whip things into shape, but she whipped me into shape. She pushed me to examines the whys behind my reluctuance to engage in certain tasks and helped me brainstorm work-arounds. She taught me ways to tackle projects that were outside of what I would have ever come up with. It was like therapy. Best of luck with yours.
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