PippiLngstockng

My lawyer told me that according to our state's formulas, AH could be ordered to pay as little as a quarter of his income on child support to cover myself and our four children. That would lead us to have to live in a trailer while he lives in the 6 bedroom house enjoying a six income figure.

What?!?!?!?!?!

LexieCat

Child support is to cover the children, not you. Alimony is what would be support for you.

Are you asking for alimony in the divorce? You might be able to get some, depending on the duration of the marriage.

owathu

Child support is for the children only and not meant to support you as well. That would be what alimony is for, or a settlement when all properties are divided. Unfortunately, for most women raising children, their lifestyle does descrease when a divorce happens.

PippiLngstockng

Thanks, Lexie!!!

18 year marriage. 4 children. I left my career to support his.

LexieCat

Then I say, GO for it!

PippiLngstockng

Decrease, fine. But five people get one quarter of his income? The lawyer said that the most we would come away with would be not quite half, but more likely less than a third?

It isn't about me. It is whether the children would be able to stay in our tiny apartment and that I could still pay for their shoes.

Right now I can't pay the rent and we've got enough to cover ourselves for the weekend. That's it!

atalose

Why does he get to stay in the home? Isn't that a material asset that can be sold and the money split?

SolTraveler

I believe it. My state - TX - has similar low expectations for child support and they don't do much to enforce it.

PippiLngstockng

I always thought we would keep the house for the children and rent until we possibly move back some day.

Currently, he is living there because he is too rich to live elsewhere. But he is apparently too poor to pay the current court ordered pension...

PippiLngstockng

And I have been living abroad with the children.

LexieCat

The house is, I would assume, marital property. It can be divided. In addition, there are probably other assets to which you are entitled. Forget about saving stuff "for the children" right now. They need resources NOW, not later.

What is your lawyer telling you about property rights and alimony?

wicked

Times TEN!!!!!

PippiLngstockng

Lexie,
That there is a new law on the books which is difficult for everyone to interpret.

LexieCat

LOL, well, THAT'S helpful legal advice. Good grief.

You are PAYING this person to look out for your best interests. Why is he or she not telling you what you could/should be asking for? Never any guarantees of the outcome, but alimony and property division are not exactly novel concepts. If there is a pension, investments, business property, real estate, any of those things, they should be subject to distribution depending on whatever the factors are in that state. Spousal support is something you should be able to get on at least a temporary basis (rehabilitative alimony--intended to get you back to the point you would have been at, or at least closer to it, if you had not quit your career for the sake of family obligations).

You need to kick your lawyer in the butt, methinks.

PippiLngstockng

In all fairness, things are more complicated than that. The US lawyer is also waiting for the Court here in this country to decide what they have jurisdiction over - child custody, child support, etc. the US lawyer thinks I stand to do better if support comes from here. But she hasn't been very clear about what I would receive if the courts decide that child support should be determined in the US. I asked more specifically today but didn't get an answer that was well thought out. I want to know the high and low number that I would receive between alimony and child support. And what is the most likely outcome.

Moral of the story: international divorce will cost you everything you own.

PippiLngstockng

So is it usual for the breadwinner to walk away with half or three quarters of their income, leaving spouse and a pile of delightful young people to live with a third the income they had before Mom called the cops and stopped talking to Dad? Are we expected to go from riches to rags? That seems to be Mr Longstpcking's intentions.

Mountainmanbob

PippiLngstockng

She said around $5,000 to $7,000 for child support per month for four children, based on AH's income. She was not clear about alimony.

I don't want to live in the house while he is still nearby and working in the area. I love my life abroad (been here three years) and hope to live here until things get settled and beyond. If we can afford to stay on.

PippiLngstockng

Btw, that sounds like a lot of money, but the cost of living over here is staggering.

Mountainmanbob

you and your children should be more than able to live on that amount
and
then with some alimony
relax