blessed4x

Relapse after 4 years of sobriety. It crept back in so slowly, then pounced all of a sudden. Now BAM....he's downing a 5th of vodka a day. I started noticing small things a few weeks ago, and I should have listened to that little voice inside. Not that it would have mattered or that there would have been a single thing I could have done to stop the freight train. But I am stronger this time around. Older. Wiser. Less angry and more sad. Thanks for listening....I knew that if anyone would understand it would be you all.

lillamy

Lots of love & hugs to you. You must be devastated. Or not? Take care of yourself.

blessed4x

As of now, I'm more not. Still kind of numb I think. Having a place to go to process as the numbness wears of is a comfort.

TakingCharge999

Ohhhh no dear blessed4x,

I remember your struggle, I remember how much you suffered in the past. You were here when I joined SR...you helped me so much to come back from the hell I was in (my ID was Dreamer999).

Are you still going to your therapist?

The SR family is with you in spirit, remember that you are not alone. I am so very sorry

TakingCharge999

PS You are very strong and wise, I have no doubt that you will come through

LexieCat

I'm so sorry--what a disappointment. Please remember to take good care of YOU. Glad you are back here with us. It's a safe haven while you sort things through.

Hugs,

theseithakas

I'm so sorry. Big hugs your way.

Seren

I'm so sorry to hear about this, blessed. Please take good care and know you can come here and process this relapse as much or as little as you need. You are among friends

FireSprite

((((HUGS)))) I'm so sorry!

Tuffgirl

So glad you feel you can come back here for support.

Prayers for better days ahead,
~T

isitme

I'm so sorry you're going though this. I remember your name from way back when I first joined. I stop back everyonce in a while and actually feel pretty good that I don't remember or know many of the people, because I hope that means they've moved on to a heather time in their lives.

I'm glad you have a place to come back to that can help you process some of your feelings. Stay strong.. Hugs!

blessed4x

Thank you for the support. He texted me to tell me HE is tired of living "this way" and that I have caused him to drink. He says he is filing. Obviously, I know I did nothing to "make" him drink. I am still just numb about the whole thing. I love him, I hate the alcohol, and I'm afraid I will never have one without the other.

outonalimb

((((blessed))))
I am so sorry. Alcoholism is just such a wicked, cunning and powerful disease. The specter of relapse always hangs in the background. I hope you keep reaching out for support. Do you attend al anon? I think face to face meetings literally saved me life and sanity.

Keep the focus on you. You are truly POWERLESS over what your ah does

Hugs...

Pelican

I am sending you (((hugs))) and support.

You are not alone. You have your SR family to lean on today and any day.

ichabod

I'm really sorry and feel heartbroken for you. My RAH is in his 4th year of recovery and the worry of relapse occupies a corner of my mind. Take care of you.

blessed4x

He says he drank because he had it "up to here" (thinks he does more of the housework as I am a full time student and work full time, not to mention hauling the 3 kids we have at home places). He says he can quit whenever he feels like it and that I'm "skirting the issue" by dragging up the subject of alcohol. He says he hid it because the kids don't need to be around it. He says I need to change. These amongst other things that could have been taken from the textbook of excuses alcoholics make. I had forgotten how slippery they can be, and he jumped right back in after 4 years, without missing a beat.

Rosiepetal

Blame=denial

So sorry you're going through this.

Big hugs.

Seren

Well, his well-honed ability to quack certainly has not been lost.

*sigh*

I hope your semester is over and that you will be able to catch up a bit on your rest. Have a fun day or two with the kids!

TakingCharge999

You have been loved, you are loved, and you will continue to be loved.

People are just human beings... I am sure he has loved you and loves you as much as he can...

Maybe life is inviting you to a whole new chapter...? maybe there are healthier relationships awaiting you...?

It is true that we are powerless over people... regardless of anyone's acts, life is still abundant...


(( Hugs ))

posiesperson

blessed4x,

Thank you for posting your update. I hope you keep coming back, and that you stay strong in your clear knowledge that this is all about powerlessness and the stinkin' thinkin' of this terrible disease. I'm so sorry you are going through this again.

Hugs,
posie