First Al-Anon meeting

Old 01-23-2014, 06:38 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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So, I probably already know the answer to this question but I'm going to ask anyway. What do the alcoholic spouses think about their spouses attending al-anon. I know its not about them, it's about our recovery but I'm just wondering if they are supportive or resentful? Although dealing with my AH is not new to me, getting help for myself is and Im just wondering what to expect.
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Old 01-23-2014, 06:42 AM
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Originally Posted by butterflyfree View Post
So, I probably already know the answer to this question but I'm going to ask anyway. What do the alcoholic spouses think about their spouses attending al-anon. I know its not about them, it's about our recovery but I'm just wondering if they are supportive or resentful? Although dealing with my AH is not new to me, getting help for myself is and Im just wondering what to expect.
My experience is probably different from most because we've agreed to divorce (but he is still living here for a few more weeks.) We really don't talk about. When I went to the first meeting, we were in counseling, trying to work through things. I just explained that it was for me. He did say (numerous times) that I was focusing too much on the alcohol, lol. But, my father is also an alcoholic and so AH could just pretend that I need al-anon for my "daddy issues"
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Old 01-23-2014, 06:51 AM
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Well he is sober now (25 days) and has chosen to not go to meetings or outpatient rehab which we agreed upon, but I need something for me.
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Old 01-23-2014, 07:14 AM
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Originally Posted by butterflyfree View Post
Well he is sober now (25 days) and has chosen to not go to meetings or outpatient rehab which we agreed upon, but I need something for me.
Just tell him that it provides a safe, anonymous place for you to work through your feelings. Or, don't tell him anything. It's for you, not for him. If you go, I would recommend trying out several different meetings, at different times and going to a minimum of 6 meetings. I've only really been attending regularly for 2 months. I go to 2-3 meetings per week. Even if you don't feel like talking, so much is gained just from listening.
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Old 01-23-2014, 07:19 AM
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I attend Celebrate Recovery as does my AH, so no issues with that. However I have noticed my AH having alot of anxiety over my going to counseling. Said the other night he is sure the counselor will tell me to separate from him. Keeps asking me when my appointment is. I told him this is really between me and the counselor and I thought it would be healthy for him to stay out of it, that I need this for myself. I also encouraged him to find a counselor for himself.

I tried to go to counseling together with him, that did not work out. I am continuing with someone else for me only. If he decides to go fine. If not, I don't really care. I know what I need to do.
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