Ellie80

My father agreed to go to a local intensive outpatient addiction treatment center. I brought up his addiction (alcoholism) for the first time last week & he agreed he had a problem & said he would go. He is in his early 50's and has been an alcoholic since before I was born. I am in therapy an recently accepted his addiction. I have shame through the roof. My mother divorced him and she said he never agreed to get help when they were married or even after when he tried over and over to get back together with her. We don't have any other family around here so it will be just me involved in this for right now. I am worried he is going to pull some BS at the appointment tomorrow. This all seems too easy. Any feedback helps. Im terrified.

jamaicamecrazy

I have not been so fortunate as to have my loved one agree to rehab and recovery. However, it sounds as though you are working on accepting him and his disease. This might be more exercise in nurturing acceptance of him. He may pull some BS. You know that is the reality. BUt if he is really ready to go then having your support will mean a great deal to both of you. Be careful of setting firm boundaries for yourself. You cannot be his caretaker minding his recovery. He needs to take this journey on his own. Let go of expectations and stand strong in your willingness to be accepting of his decisions. Take care of yourself and keep strong. No matter how things turn out for him promise yourself that you will be ok.

Ellie80

Ugh i know. But at my core i believe i will not be ok if he is not. I know thats codependency but....it's how i think & feel. I love my dad & want him to live. I cant stand watching him kill himself anymore

Recovering2

I know it's hard, but try not to have too high of expectations. "Expectations are planned resentments." He has agreed to go to IOP, sounds like that alone is a huge step based on his history. If he gets there and backs out, that's his choice. It sometimes takes a few times for the A to get serious. Decide ahead of time what boundaries you need to have. If he refuses treatment, what do you do for yourself? If he goes through with treatment (and I hope he does), be very careful. Don't get enmeshed in his recovery. I learned that it's my A's job to protect his sobriety, and my job to protect my serenity. Work on YOUR recovery, go to AlAnon and find your own support group.

Good Luck!