Philosophical Thought From Facebook
Philosophical Thought From Facebook
I read a post on Facebook today that was shared from my cousin regarding him and his wife. It was a forwarded picture with writing on it that said, “If I could choose again I’d still choose you.” After reading that post I immediately thought to myself, “if I could choose again I would not choose you.” It also brought into my mind the advice given from many friends jokingly stating “don’t do it” when informed of my engagement. Knowing what I know now I would have taken the advice of those joking friends; I would not have married him.
However, since the road was paved the way it was, and I was nieve to it all, I can say I am glad I chose him at the time. If it had to be someone that I road this ride with I'm glad it was him. Would I jump on and do it all over from the beginning? I say no way. I was meant to learn the lessons that were taught to me. I was meant to experience the emotions that I had- both good and bad. Had I not, I may not be where I am today. I may have avoided many years of pain, or maybe not. Or, I might have experienced the pain in different ways perhaps with someone else. I may have learned lessons even later in life, or not even at all. Who knows how the movie of 'Me' would of played out if my choices were different.
The important thing is not the "what if's" of the past, but that I am learning. I may not be where I want to fully be yet, but I believe I am going the right direction. I have learned from my weaknesses and my mistakes, and I continue to learn. What does my answer to the Facebook post's question say to me? It says to me that I am not happy being in a relationship with him any longer, and if I can ask myself this and honestly say that I wouldn’t choose him again then I have my answer on whether or not I should stay in this relationship. Now it’s taking steps to make my thought into a reality.
I spoke to the marriage counselor regarding guidance on getting and presenting a divorce. She was very helpful. She actually asked if I would like to see her for individual therapy. I asked her if that would cause conflict in marriage counseling, and she stated, “ It would if I were to see you all for marriage counseling, but it sounds to me like, from what you are telling me, there is no further need for marriage counseling.” Hearing someone else voice what I feel kind of made my heart jump a little. I liked how she said that. It sort of made my thought regarding a divorce a little more real. Kind of like it closed a metaphysical door of some sort. We talked about some goals for therapy, and getting past fear is one goal I look forward to explore.
However, since the road was paved the way it was, and I was nieve to it all, I can say I am glad I chose him at the time. If it had to be someone that I road this ride with I'm glad it was him. Would I jump on and do it all over from the beginning? I say no way. I was meant to learn the lessons that were taught to me. I was meant to experience the emotions that I had- both good and bad. Had I not, I may not be where I am today. I may have avoided many years of pain, or maybe not. Or, I might have experienced the pain in different ways perhaps with someone else. I may have learned lessons even later in life, or not even at all. Who knows how the movie of 'Me' would of played out if my choices were different.
The important thing is not the "what if's" of the past, but that I am learning. I may not be where I want to fully be yet, but I believe I am going the right direction. I have learned from my weaknesses and my mistakes, and I continue to learn. What does my answer to the Facebook post's question say to me? It says to me that I am not happy being in a relationship with him any longer, and if I can ask myself this and honestly say that I wouldn’t choose him again then I have my answer on whether or not I should stay in this relationship. Now it’s taking steps to make my thought into a reality.
I spoke to the marriage counselor regarding guidance on getting and presenting a divorce. She was very helpful. She actually asked if I would like to see her for individual therapy. I asked her if that would cause conflict in marriage counseling, and she stated, “ It would if I were to see you all for marriage counseling, but it sounds to me like, from what you are telling me, there is no further need for marriage counseling.” Hearing someone else voice what I feel kind of made my heart jump a little. I liked how she said that. It sort of made my thought regarding a divorce a little more real. Kind of like it closed a metaphysical door of some sort. We talked about some goals for therapy, and getting past fear is one goal I look forward to explore.
Kind of like it closed a metaphysical door of some sort. We talked about some goals for therapy, and getting past fear is one goal I look forward to explore.
Getting past fear is one of goals too.
Beth
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