Need some ? answered please help?
 

Hey gang, I need some help with some questions: Why would my exahgf tell me she still loves me but is with another ah man? She want to work things out with me and start a new relationship with me. He has no job no money NOTHING!!! But she is still with him now and she is planning on dumping him soon. She wants me but I am unsure about things. Any advise would be helpful!

To be blunt, she doesn't really sound like she is in any condition to be in a relationship with anyone right now. Just because someone says they want to be with you doesn't mean you have to jump in with both feet. Otherwise, you'll likely end up just being the next guy she's about to dump for someone else. Good luck to you, you deserve better than that.

Could this be why she is telling you that she loves and wants to come back?

We all love to hear "I love you"....it warms our hearts and makes us feel NOT so alone.

Some things you first need to ask yourself before getting involved with her again.

Is she still drinking?

What has SHE changed since you broke up that would make having her back worth it for you?

IF she's willing to USE this guy until she has another one (you) what's to say she won't do that to you as well?

My question is why do you care? Isn't she your EX girlfriend?

Your friend,

I am sorry, but I need to be blunt also - The simple answer is "Because alcoholics lie." Even if it is something as sacred as saying "I love you." Who she is will be dictated by her actions, not her words. Even "she is planning on dumping him soon" may be a lie.

Being lied to is painful, and for those of us that try to lead lives with integrity, it is often difficult to accept the levels of deceipt that we experience with active alcoholics.

Off topic - Just a guess here - but "Go Hokies?!?" (If I am way off, then ignore)

All I can say is RUN!!!!

She is with him because they feed each others addictions. She can drink and not be judged.

There is a part of her that loves you, but the desire for drink overrides it. Keep on walking and dont look back.

Thanks everyone She was lying again to me. She said I would never understand her and she went back with him. I will never understand why??????????

leads to heartache
 

Sadly, you never will understand why. I'm afraid there is no 'why' with addiction.

I'm really sorry that you are hurting.

I have to agree with hydrogirl here. There is no "good" reason. One thing I have learned though my experiences is that you cannot expect truth in words or logic in actions from an actively drinking A. I'm also really sorry you're hurting. Sending you hugs. :hug:

I am sorry your hurting too! I recall going thru that time and time again! It was painful and my XABF always said, I wouldn't understand! I didn't & still don't! Really I am glad I don't understand that sick behavior.