my3sonsnme

I know this cant be the first time Ive had one of those "quacking" convos you all talk about...but its the first time Ive actually known it for what it was and handled it with out getting dragged in.

XAH and I have had some items in each others position that we were to exchange. Ive tried several times to set it up but he would always have a reason he couldn't do it. They are heavy items furniture etc. that I would need help with so I would set it up but he would postpone. Finally yesterday he messaged me and wanted to do it that day. I told him I would have to see if I could get help, He said he would help me (which surprised me) so I said ok Ill bring your stuff over since I was able to handle that and then we could load mine. A few hours later he sent a message wanting to make sure I had everything that was to be brought to him. Now, we have a list that each of us made through our attorneys....I told him yes, I had the list and had everything gathered in my garage..he then said well there is more then is on the list. The list were made at least a year ago....he has never voiced this before. Instead of going back and forth by text I called him and asked him what was he looking for that was not on the list...He had a horrible tone and was being pretty sh##ty and said "I cant remember it was a long time ago"..????? then proceeded to name everything on the list. I told him yes I have all that...its on the list. He again said well theres more then that...again I asked what...he couldn't say but was talking to me in such a disrespectfull tone and attitude I told him look im bringing everything on the list, and a few things that I have found that aren't...Im not going to keep your stuff from you...I was completely calm and even kind of laughed a little. He ended the convo with a fine what ever...

I thought about it for a while and called him back and told him I thought we should do it another day. He was obviously tired (he has been working a shut down 12 hr shifts for weeks and it was his first day off) from all the hours he had been working and it could wait. In reality I just didn't want to deal with his attitude. He was still rude and said I am just fine...so I said well your pretty cranky so id rather wait and do it another day. end of convo...any other time I would have put my self threw his abusive behavior and then felt like crap for days.
After he had originally contacted me I had thought great we can do this and be civil, hes even going to help me...after the second convo..(and I don't know what happened to make him change his attitude so quickly) I thought there is no way Im going to his house and have him talk to me like that and probabley stand and watch me struggle with loading the stuff and not help after all. I will go back to my original plan and have help come with me so I don't have to rely on him.
I was pretty proud of myself...if for nothing else then for not letting his crappy attitude ruin my day. He sounds so miserable....and it felt like he was just picking a fight. ugg...not interested!!!

dandylion

:bounceDear my3sons, good example of maintaining your "cool" in the face of aggravating QUACKS!!!!

I recall the first time I used my detachment tools on my A'S--when they tried picking an argument---they looked like deer in the headlights! I could "read" the confusion in their eyes. (bittersweet memory)

sincerely, dandylion

Rosiepetal

Good for you.
I remember those exchange of items days & the difficulty.
You are stronger than you think, well done, you handled it fine.

CeciliaV

Good on you! Keep doing what is right for you and you can't go wrong. Stay strong!