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-   -   neigbour-ly love...ppft! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/291937-neigbour-ly-love-ppft.html)

fourmaggie 04-19-2013 01:04 PM

neigbour-ly love...ppft!
 
i have a dry drunk on one side of me as neigbours named Al and active drinker named Maryanne

:c029:

my kids (ages 10 and 11)can not seem to be able to play outside with BOTH neigbhours waving the phone at them saying they are gonna call the police for one reason or another..

i have had it! my kids are good kids and i am home "listening" to them...they know they are not allowed on the neighbours properties and so forth...

but last nite took the cake when AL yells at my son to get inside you have been playing for 4 hrs already and i am gonna call the police if you dont...excuse me--what?! he tells my son this...not me, no knock on my door or anything...

and to boot--the pool isnt even open YET

any suggestions?
breathe the serenity prayer....

LexieCat 04-19-2013 02:17 PM

Are these two neighbors on either side of you? Or one couple that lives on one side?

Are you at all on speaking terms with them? What if you were to go to them and say something along the lines of, "I understand you've had some issues with my kids playing outside. What seems to be the problem?" And after they've rambled on about whatever, maybe you could say, "Well, I will certainly ask them to be considerate, etc., and I would appreciate your letting me know if they are bothering you." Maybe that will eliminate the threats to "call the police"--OTOH, it may just lead to their coming over to complain every five minutes. Sort of a judgment call. Do you maybe have another neighbor or friend who could come with you as a witness to see what they say and how you talk to them?

OTOH, it might be amusing to see the "police response." These are probably the same kind of people who call 911 when the drive-up order at the fast food place is wrong.

fourmaggie 04-19-2013 02:32 PM

two neighbours on either side of me...

i have talked and done this with BOTH neigbhbours...AL is so bad--he will complain to my DAD when he visits me...

I am always HOME when this is taking place...my kids are good...they know the boundaries of our neighbours...BUT COME ON! kids are kids...are they not allowed to play outside...

and to comment to my son that he has been outside playing already for 4 hrs to give it up and go inside--is insane....

i am beginning to feel bullied and harassed --for my kids....

i am not moving especially if they are looking for a quiet neighbourhood...

i was told to start journalling now...

wicked 04-19-2013 02:48 PM

I am sorry your neighbors are so awful.
Call the police on a kid playing outside?

It would be nice if he did call, they responded and let him know in no uncertain terms that he will be arrested for harassing your children.

Journaling is a great idea.

Beth

LexieCat 04-19-2013 03:14 PM

In some communities there are "neighborhood dispute" committees. Maybe check to see if there is such an animal where you live?

It IS a shame. OTOH, people like that are, unfortunately, a fact of life. I assume you have also told your kids not to take it personally, and to keep letting you know if there is a problem.

Technically, of course, what they are doing is probably, legally, harassment. You can't constantly threaten to call the police when nobody is doing anything wrong. Do you by any chance know a lawyer who might be able to send them an official-type letter telling them that the kids are doing nothing wrong and that continued threats may result in legal action against them? Sort of a last resort, because it might increase their hostility.

fourmaggie 04-20-2013 07:00 AM

LexieCat--funny someone said the same thing....they actually said to call the police and tell them the neighbours are harassing my kids while playing to put it on record...

this hostility has started in this house when my "husband" grew up in this house...and just well, we got married and bought the house and now a widow, has not stopped...

its a shame that kids CAN NOT PLAY OUTSIDE ANYMORE without this happening...i remember in my days lots of us kids outside playing...now..your lucky if you get a kid on a bike with the Xbox and stuff....

the 6 foot fence will be going up...but AL still has a visual on me and the kids from that TOP window where he sits--and watches

I try not to buy into HIS dysfunction...but at times it is hard when its my kids...

thanks everyone...

tjp613 04-20-2013 07:48 AM

Tell your kids to respond by saying, "Go ahead. Call 'em!"

I, for one, am ecstatic to hear that there are still children in the world who play OUTSIDE for hours and hours at a time. I love the sound of children playing. We chose a house that is within hearing distance of a schoolyard just for that reason. What a joyful sound!

fairlyuncertain 04-20-2013 01:58 PM

"By all means, if you see my kids engaged in ANY illegal activity, you should call the police!" That should take care of that.

fourmaggie 04-22-2013 02:39 PM


Originally Posted by fairlyuncertain (Post 3927443)
"By all means, if you see my kids engaged in ANY illegal activity, you should call the police!" That should take care of that.

NOW! that comment i love!!

and gonna use.....

my son, he is a pretty smart kid..and he did say to Al to call them...son came in house to tell me rite away

last year, other neighbour called the police on my kids for being left alone at home all day...(car was not in driveway, it was getting an OIL CHANGE at the corner garage)...i heard a knock and answered that the police officer was shocked i was home...i said "of course where would i be" the officer said neighbour called, no car and parent not home...i said "i am home"....he left scatching his head....AFTER that i called FACS which is FAMILY AND CHILDREN SERVICEs....but myself on record and what had happened...the woman on the phone was surprised that the police officer did offer more service...(police would call them 1st)

aah well...another season!
fence goes up in one more week....

thanks everyone...

StarCat 04-22-2013 07:45 PM

You would be well within your rights to report your neighbors to the police for harassment of you and your children.

If it's on record, too, that gives them less to stand on if they do try something.

fourmaggie 05-13-2013 01:26 PM

update...

in 1 day...survayors and city inspector and later on that day the POLICE...i think neighbour has exhausted all possiblities for me in trouble..lol FOR A DRIVEWAY THAT IS NOT HIS

all within my rights of course....now...fence is going up!! now one more call to the police from him and HARASSMENT comes in....

all is good! lol

wanttobehealthy 05-14-2013 04:43 AM

wow... i don't even know what to say. insanity on both sides it sounds like.

my kids play outside for hours on end too and i am glad you aren't letting your crazy neighbors disrupt your kids enjoyment...

i think that sitting back and letting your neighbor come unhinged is the best plan. all those calls yesterday clearly let the police know precisely who the nutcase is!

hang in there!

caboblanco 05-14-2013 05:07 AM

My next door neighbor has two nice kids about 7 and 9. They are super friendly and well behaved. The thing is if i'm out walking my dog and they want to play or talk to me I just have a few words and I'm on my way. See I live alone, Im a single male 33 years old. I don't want to be seen as a "creepy guy" if you know what I mean. It's sad that in today's society people could start getting suspicious of you if you are too friendly with their young kids. As for your situation I think your kids are just irritating these miserable people because they don't have a tolerance for that sort of thing. I love kids but some people get annoyed. They have to deal with that because kids are allowed in your neighborhood. You could actually call the cops on them. get a order put out on them.

fourmaggie 05-14-2013 07:11 AM

*I don't want to be seen as a "creepy guy" if you know what I mean. It's sad that in today's society people could start getting suspicious of you*

^^^

sorry you are going through that...but you are good, knowing the boundaries....
just one day when you see the parents invite them on to your porch...and chit chat...no harm...


*i think that sitting back and letting your neighbor come unhinged is the best plan. all those calls yesterday clearly let the police know precisely who the nutcase is!*

funny when the police officer came to the house and saw the "stall" of the work on my fence that was the first thing he asked, "problems with your neighbour?" and it went from there...his words where "i do NOT want to be back here for KIDS PLAYING...like i got nothing better to do!" I smiled and shook his hand..."i will see you back here, i promise you that..." and off he went...*shrugs*....i just want my fence up...now that the tarp is dry to OPEN the pool....!!

tromboneliness 05-14-2013 05:15 PM

I hate to be the "neighbor from h3ll," but where I used to live, in suburban Chicago (this was during the MJ period, so all kids were bouncing basketballs all the time), there were several kids playing on each side of our house every day, for hours on end. Nothing illegal, but geezus, I had to wear earplugs just to take a nap in my own house. They would start in at the crack of dawn on weekend mornings, and it would just go on and on and on. Complain to their parents, and you'd get, "Hey, kids are kids, nothing we can do about it. You shouldn't live in the suburbs if you don't like it."

Well, we did eventually move out -- I guess that's what they wanted....

T

fourmaggie 05-15-2013 02:18 PM

^^sorry for the frustrations...but kids do grow up too


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