LexieCat

LOL, I was wondering the same thing.

redatlanta

First of all - you aren't feeling well and that is playing into this. Divorces are very hard and usually unpleasant. This is probably the first in a string of things he is going to try so you need to get your mind to a place where you understand its all smoke and mirrors.

My advice would be to go ahead and take the money from your mother. I know this is unpleasant and she is reluctant to help you; however, it is her perogative to spend her money or loan her money how she sees fit. Promissory notes and perhaps offering to pay her back with interest may lighten the blow. You need to do this though as May is right around the corner. You dont' really have time to find a job and accumulate the monies needed. I suggest you go for the maximum amount that you can get from her - in these situations continuing to go back to the honey pot doesn't always work.

As far as paying her back you should be able to from your divorce settlement. I am making an assumption that your husband has done well financially and I believe you have been married for 12 years or so. While every state has different laws here when it comes to divorce they are all very similar in that it is a 50/50 split of all assets accumulated during the marriage. This includes savings, retirement, equity and property. What isn't included is inheritance if your husband has received one during your marriage.

Your husbands earnings and the size of your estate could work in your favor when finding an attorney. With the retainer in place and attorney MAY be willing to work with you on payment if they see that you will be getting a settlement that will cover the costs.

You can't give up hope this early in the game - you can't ever. You will have to be diligent and go into this knowing you r husband is going to make it as difficult as possible. Our courts do recognize extenuating circumstances and with you living out of the country should be willing to force hearings and get as much taken care of as its not as easy for you to reschedule and appear. I do think that the courts here will recognize that your husband was ordered to pay you a pension and did not. It won't have an effect on him as far as being held in contempt but it should effect him as far as your case. Its possible that could be excluded but I doubt it in earlier hearings.

I hope you are feeling better from your ear infection....so sorry you are going through this .

Mountainmanbob

Use "do it yourself" resources: If you were charged with a crime and could not afford a lawyer, one would be appointed to represent you. Divorce, on the other hand, is a civil matter, and the court will not appoint a free attorney for your divorce. Many family law courts do have a self-service divorce center with resources for people who are divorcing without an attorney. In some instances, local lawyers may volunteer to answer questions and help fill out forms. You may, however, be limited to booklets and instruction manuals.

ShootingStar1

If a spouse receives an inheritance during their marriage and co-mingles those funds with joint accounts or otherwise with their spouse, the inheritance is then, most likely, viewed as joint assets.

ShootingStar

PippiLngstockng

Do you lovely people have any idea how much your support and advice help me?! THANK YOU!

Yes, the ear infection, the lice (found in the girls' long hair last Wednesday), and have my mother here (much as she's lovely, it was hard), plus the back to back court appearances...there is only so much my 5 foot 3 inch frame can handle. Even if I am tough as nails

But thanks to my higher power, and my little girl picking me dandelions, and my older boys' wise words, and you all and all the other good things life gives us - I am bouncing back.

I found a lawyer after many lawyers referring me to other lawyers. Her retainer is a bit less ($10,000), I am borrowing from my mum and will do a promisory note or something. And the lawyer said we might get the law to make AH pay for some of my legal fees.

Good advice from you all!!!

Apparently AH's Saturday credit cards games (canceling, reassigning) goes against court orders. He IS digging his own hole!

BTW, the retainer is big because the case is very complicated. It's that ocean again. Keeps me safe, but makes things tricky.

I only have $100 to get through til the first of the month. And then let's hope AH pays the support this time! Geez.

Anyway, again, thank you everyone. Know that the wisdom you've accrued and shared has really helped this lady out!

redatlanta

Good! I recommend you keep a daily journal of how you and the children are affected by AH not sending the support payments. This will be an invaluable tool for your attorney as it is hard to remember everything.

Let him dig his hole hahahahaha!