Haventlosthope

Hi I am an adult child in recovery and therapy. My situation is I have a younger brother; he is sober i dont know how long because i couldnt get a sobriety date out of him. we are only a year apart and have always been close NOT THAT IT WAS HEALTHY. I sent him a confrontational email about his behavior( made the mistake of sending copies to two other people - oops translation DONT F@CK WITH ME) when he came to stay with me a few months ago and his reply was to take me out of his will, block me form emailing him, and erase my number from his cell phone. it was that i copied the emails to two other people that got him. I realize now and already tried to make amends with him for that.

Well, he called me last weekend ( he must have talked to his therapist? sponsor? beats the heck out of me)and said "I'm sorry I can't not have you in my life" He asked how i was. I said not pretty good; I entered menopause, Finished working with one therapist and its over and i am in an intensive outpatient mental health treatment program for the next 5 weeks. He said "AWESOME!" I thought to myself- did you just hear what i said? Then he proceeeded to talk about his usual concerns and i cut him off and said i was on my way out the door and i will have to catch up later.


I then did something really stupid and almost bought into his "I'm sorry so everything is all better sell". The next day i tried to call him and thank HP it didnt work out because i am willing to invest 5% of what i had in that relationship. I need to work with my therapist to set boundaries with him.
I need to take care of me and let go of the "big sister caretaker/enabler role." He lives far away so we would talk every Sunday for an hour and most of it was me giving him advice or being a sounding bored while he vented all his feelings...his anger problem and OCD issues as well as his endless venting about work, his dreams, and pretty much EVERYTHING.....even TMI stuff.

I don't know where to start.....

I see my counselor tomorrow and have group for my mental illness treatment. I'm hoping that my counselor can help.

I'm new here and just wondering if anyone else has gone thru anything similar?

I have no contact with my toxic parents.....it took a long time to let them go....too long, however I feel freer now from all the b.s., game playing and abuse of me because I have a mental illness. They have no idea it is genetic and that I've had it since i was very young. My one aunt I remember saying "she will grow out of it". I want to grow out of it. I didnt think it would take this long to finally get to the root of it all.....I am 47 for Pete's sake!!!!

I'm just glad i found a support website that will add to my tool box to wellness. There are multiple forums I can use to help me.

I know now I am truly alone and only me can get me well with HP's help. I can never trust my brother again nor welcome him into my home. My HP has blessed me with a loving husband and your average dysfunctional in-laws and a very small handful of friends. We have no children and and are happy with that. Taking care of our pets is satisfying enough.

Now, I am rambling on.....sorry.It feels good to get it out.

Thank you for reading this.

Haventlosthope

Seren

Hello Haventlosthope, Welcome to SR!!!!

It certainly sounds as though you have been through quite a lot. I'm happy to hear that you are now seeing what sounds like a competent and caring counselor and have the support of a loving husband.

Please stick around! You found a great place for support and shared experience.

HG