DefofLov

As I have posted before, I am 19 years old, a sophomore in college. My mother is an alcoholic and I have suffered neglect all my life thus far. She moved next door to my Grandmother who is also neglected and I suffered mental and verbal abuse from her. My aunt who may be addicted to more than alcohol has always come over to my Grandmother's house everyday and she was also mentally and verbally abusive. I came to the realization that the harsh treatment from my family was terribly wrong and I dont deserve it. I once thought I had to stay and take care of everyone. I thought that if I loved them, I would forgive them for everything they had done and still take care of them.

Well, that mentality is gone now. I am leaving my family. I refuse to return to that situation. I cannot take the abuse anymore. I have tried long enough. I found someplace else to stay this summer so I dont have to go home this summer. Finally, I will be able to hurt and heal. This semester I have been pushing the emotions aside to do my schoolwork. I had so much going on at campus with abusive friends and sexual assault on top of my family issues. You guyz, I am emotionally exhausted. I have suppressed so much so that I could keep my academics up. Now is the time for me to heal. This has been the most turbulent moment in my life. I have gone through so much. I am learning about how being an ACOA has affect me friendships and relationships.

This summer I will attend ACOA meetings and I have two books about being an adult child to read. I will finally have a chance to let all my emotions out and write in my journal. I will be able to really initiate the healing process. I have a full time job waiting for me and I am finally free from this campus. I am so tired, I have not slept but 8 total hours in the past three days and I really need some sleep. I cant wait to get out of here.

Well, I wish you all a lovely summer, I wont have access to a computer when I am back in Syracuse. So, you should be hearing from me in the fall. Stay strong. I will keep you all in my prayers. This site has been so helpful to me. Thanx for being such supportive and wonderful people.

Love,

~Def

sdp

You go girl!! Sounds like you are doing what is good for you. I wish you the best of luck, and hope your healing summer is successful!!

amarie

Def, I live in East Syracuse--You can come and use mine!!! How about the library? There's plenty of computers there. NO EXCUSE!! Keep in touch. Have a great restful summer.

sunflowergal29

Take care, Def! Please keep in touch- I really get a lot out of your posts. I'll miss you!!!
-SFG29

Ann

Def

Sending prayers and hugs and wishes of luck. You can't change your past and your family, but your future is all yours to make as beautiful as you choose. Keep looking ahead, not behind, and just follow your dreams girl!!!

Keep in touch and let us know how it's going.

Hugs
Ann

Lorelai

Def -
I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. You keep going - you sound very strong. Please find a way to let us know how you are doing. In the meantime, I'll be thinking of you.
L