Avalon393

I feel kind of silly counting down my NC days being that I have no desire to get back together with him. sober or not. I am still hurt, and love him, but it's the 3rd time he's abandoned me in the past 4 years. Each time was very cold...and abrupt. However this time I was kicked out of my home, told that we were broken up via facebook, and he was meeting strange women from a dating site within 2 days. I want to get married someday, and have children, with someone I can depend on. But I am still proud of myself...his roommate texted me last night to tell me my exabf had of course drinken so much that he was puking. It is crazy how quickly my mind shifts from thinking he is a monster to "Ohh poor baby, I hope he is okay...wish I was there to take care of him. like...WHAT? excuse me codi...I was trying to think clearly. haha. I just reminded myself that he is a grown man, and this is the lifestyle he chose. I then got a text from him this afternoon for the first time since my NC began saying that he had found my drivers license...which is expired? So I'm assuming he either didn't realize it was expired, or was just trying to see if I was still around waiting for him? either way, I feel so strong and empowered not responding. Anyways...besides that I have been doing affirmations daily along with lots of prayers and meditating. I also have been talking to a few cute guys which helps. I just need to stop hiding from the bigger issue at hand and gather up the courage to go to alanon...baby steps I guess, I'm just glad this depression is slowly lifting. I don't even know if words can express how much this forum has helped me. I don't even remember how I found it, but it will definitely be listed on my next gratitude list. thank you SR.

neferkamichael

Avalon, you are FANTASTIC.

LexieCat

Not silly at all. Alcoholics who intend never to drink again count their sober time. It's a reminder of how we progress the longer we stay on the path.

Sounds to me like you are making progress. Keep it up!

brokenrose

Avalon, so proud of you....you are not silly at all, my exabf left me almost six months ago, and I have so many xsss written all over my calendar for the days I was able to stay no contact....but the very best part is this month I've made it to 32 days, that's right 32xs on my calendar and yesterday was his bday...and guess what I put a Huge X on my calendar. You got this Avalon......way to go!!!!

dandylion

Fantasssstic, Avalon!! See how strong you are?!

I heavily endorse your decision to go to alanon, now. MAIN REASON---It is the best way to ensure that you will not get in vested in this type of guy in the future. It is so com mon to get rid of one guy and get involved with the same type, again. Alanon will help you to really get to know (and like) yourself.

sincerely, dandylion