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-   -   Waiting for your recovering A to act normal?? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/291224-waiting-your-recovering-act-normal.html)

BobbyJ 04-13-2013 09:21 PM

Waiting for your recovering A to act normal??
 
I remember when my A went to rehab. I asked his counselor if he was ever going to act normal again. She told me.."Remember, he has drank hard for a very long time"

I searched for answers. I asked everyone. I read books and searched the internet for days to months. Looking for the answer. I guess I wanted someone to tell me "Yes, he will be fine and all back to normal soon, dont worry" I truly exhausted myself in the beginning, looking for the perfect answer. Hoped and prayed, he would be normal again...

Once he got out of rehab, the drinking started again...but he was going to AA classes faithfully.

A year later, he was back into rehab...

It's been 2 years now - and he says he's sober and goes to AA faithfully.

He was traveling thru my state last week and we met up for lunch. Dont ask me why I went, but I did...

Since I will not discuss my personal life/kids/business with him, we talked about the weather. Slowly, the conversation crept back into our past.
Lunch was quickly over!

His face looked extremely puffy. Personal hygiene was a mess, umm, more like nasty! The Wally World velcro tennis shoes made this girl's head turn (Not)
Let alone the same clothes that he left in, 2 years ago!

About a hour after lunch, he called me and wanted to share some important information with me. Without going into a long story, the short version was:
If my daughter would of acted like a normal teenager and would of respected him/me - we wouldnt be divorce! (Not, that his drinking a gallon of booze everyday, had anything to do with our divorce)...
*Shaking my head like a wet dog out of the shower*....Pathetic!!!


Moral of Story: Don't waste the time, energy or the tears in the beginning trying to figure it out. (Yes, easier said than done) It takes time for their brains to heal and repair. Some of them do and some of them dont. There is no magical answers...Just time..

When "YOUR" mind heal's...You'll hear AND see your answer!!!

LexieCat 04-14-2013 05:46 AM

Doesn't sound to me like he's been sober at all. The physical appearance sounds like he is still drinking.

Glad you have moved on.

Nice to hear from you, Bobby!

choublak 04-14-2013 06:50 AM

The question is, was he ever "normal" in the first place?

Mountainmanbob 04-14-2013 07:09 AM

seems he just reaffirmed
 

Originally Posted by BobbyJ (Post 3915931)


If my daughter would of acted like a normal teenager and would of respected him/me - we wouldnt be divorce! (Not, that his drinking a gallon of booze everyday, had anything to do with our divorce)...
*Shaking my head like a wet dog out of the shower*....Pathetic!!!

some poor souls will never have a clue
about all we can do is to pray for them
who knows how much damage he has done to himself
seems he just reaffirmed
that you made the right decision

onehigherpower


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