Done!!!!!!! Signed, sealed, and off to the Judge
 

for his rubber stamp!!!!!!!

I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
I got everything I wanted, and he left happy that he got everything he wanted.

Wasn't easy.

He arrived, I went to the ladies room and met him in the hall in a fierce temper tantrum because he had spoken to my lawyer for one minute and whatever got said, AH went ballistic and said he'd see him in Court.

I persuaded AH to go back to the office so I could hear what the problem was.

Finally got him back into the Conference Room. Initial issue was that, as we sorted it out, the bank had made a big mistake and not transferred $25,000 he was due into his account. Wasn't in my account, though, and AH thought I'd stolen it.

He kept typing figures into his Excel spreadsheet, which was a ridiculous document to begin with, filled with charges against me for indecipherable items like "Taken" $35,000, whatever that meant. I made it clear he should have all the retirement money he earned before we were married, and other points in his favor.

He kept hollering, bellowing actually, that I was getting too high of a percentage and he would not have it.

Took 2 hours, but we got it done, and from my perspective, I believe I got everything I wanted. Learned from my financial advisor this morning that if I got part of his TIAA-CREF retirement account, I would have to pay taxes on it when I took the money out, probably at the 25% rate.

So at the end, I convinced him, and this is true, that I had protected his monthly income by giving him, in addition to his social security, his small pension, the rental property with its small monthly income, and full access to his retirement funds. And that his "lifeboat", the rental property was all his in case he ever needed another place to live. In exchange, I get half of the proceeds from the sale of our home, plus additional cash to equal the portion of his TIAA-CREF I would have been awarded. So, no taxes for me, which is a huge windfall.

All cash for me, which lets me start my life fresh, use my new financial advisor who is great to help me chart a realistic short term and long term financial plan. I'd already accepted that I have to go back to work. That's the tough nut for me to swallow, but I feel so much better physically now after 9 months of healing and I'm not having the bouts of sinusitis, bronchitis, walking pneumonia any more since I saw a nutritionist and started a regimen of healthy food and huge number of supplements to improve my immunity. I am doing better now than I have in 20 years.

So its DONE. OVER. STBXAH took me out for a very late lunch, and we worked out how to get the house on the market ASAP. He's happily moving on to live with a woman with very similar interests, AND, he is stuck with the taxes and carrying costs of the house, so it is in both our interests to get the house on the market now, while it is a very hot market here in New England.

Twenty years and one day of marriage. Only twenty years too long.

I am exhausted, relieved, happy, and exhausted. Going to go over the numbers tomorrow and I hope I got what I think I got. Either way, it is done and my life can begin again. My grown kids are joyful!!!!!!

ShootingStar1

Well Done!

From beginning to end!

You are an inspirtation to us all.

I'm over the moon happy for you Shootingstar!

Thrilled beyond words.

I wish you peace , happiness, and growth in the coming days and years.

I will never forget you, your story, and your rise out of the darkness.

Much love to you Katie oxoxoxoox

ShootingStar, I remember reading one of your first posts months ago. You sounded so lost and upset at the time. Fast forward to now and look at ya - you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and did what you had to do for you. I am so, so happy for you. Its a new chapter in your life - and you keep taking care of you. ((((Big Hug))))

I am so very pleased for you.
You are debt free & now you can truly move forward with your life.
I had a 20 yr relationship & I know the property settlement sucks but there is freedom in the end & a new life just waiting for you.
*****ooooooooooooooooo

It sounds like it was quite a day! Congratulations on getting everything finalized and for calmly standing your ground!! Onward.... :)

AWESOME!!!!!

Congrats, you handled it all very well. It's a beautiful thing when both parties walk away feeling like they got what was most important to them. It should happen more often. :)

You will be on cloud nine for the next few weeks, I predict!

Well done!

Wow ShootingStar,
I was so excited to read this update - I've been thinking about you today and hoping that you would let us know how things had gone.
I'm amazed that you got this done in 2 hours. Incredible. And you both seem satisfied. Awesome.
I'm beyond happy for you. Congratulations.
Hugs,
MamaKit

That's awesome time to move on from the craziness

WOO HOO!!!!!! You did it!!!!

:a122:
:c006:
:dance1a:
:bbk:

That is AWESOME!!!!! Congrats on your fresh start!!

So glad you got it all worked out, despite the antics of the STBXAH. I've often wondered how we'd split things so I'm glad you came to a finality that worked for both of you!

Good for you. I'm impressed you didn't go it alone. Rational with a financial adviser. When things are unmanageable, sometimes we need to get someone in there to manage things. Best to you for closing many chapters in your life, and writing a new one.

I am glad you can now see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope you are taking today to slowly UNWIND and get yourself some soothing 'spa treatment' and just treat yourself extra special!!!!!

Love and hugs,