caboblanco

It's amazing all the married women that try to check out my sweet buns at the grocery store when i bend over to get some meat product. I wish they would just stop undressing me with their eyes all the time. i guess it's just something someone like me cannot avoid.

Hammer

Outstanding.

Just add . . . .

Dear Penthouse Adviser:

at the front and you are there.

===========

Sing Along Damn Near Everyone . . .

Mac Davis - It's Hard To Be Humble - YouTube

DG0409

Cut me some slack ok? Undressing you with my eyes was the closest I've been to any intimate pleasure all year.

choublak

Humble? I'm disturbed and proud of it, you didn't know?

LightInside

I've only read the first page of this, but thanks for starting this thread, Stella. I met my not-boyfriend at a playgroup for kids of single parents in my son's age bracket. I learned about it through a meet-up.com group for single parents. My friend's not "healthy" in the recovery/spiritual way that I'm seeking, but he's a functional, responsible adult who puts his kid and friends before the bottle. He's a good friend with similar concerns (He too has a custody dispute with his kid's A-mom). We are able to mutually aid each other and provide companionship. If I could meet him at the first playgroup I went to, then surely I could meet someone more suited for me at another such healthy adult function.

I don't know about Home Depot though, as my XAPartner prob still shops there
It's tempting though. The other day I was very friendly with a guy at the copy center by the courthouse. I could see that he was making copies of screen shots and I totally knew what he was up to. ;D

I like the recommendation that you find a hobby that YOU like. You will be nurturing yourself at the same time that you are attracting a new fellow. That would serve you both well in a new relationship of you had that healthy activity in common. You could also check a guy out for awhile without moving in on him, so you could decide if he's worth the risk before you get involved.

fluffyflea

Hi,

Curious about your commitment issues and why they have you calling him "friend"?

pixilation

Hmm, that's a good question. I don't know why I can't just call him my boyfriend, and as far as commitment issues, well, that's just me. LOL

Lovenjoy

Stella thank you sooooo much for this thread! It's a question that needed to be asked and I am LMAO! Some good advise too! But mostly thanks for the laughs guys! Logged off and had to come back 'cause I'm still laughing!

KateL

Yeah coffee shop, definitely somewhere without alcohol. A very nice man gave me one of those smiles in a shop the other day. If you are destined to meet someone, I often find it is in the most unusual places. I joined one of those online dating places once but it weirded me out too much so I left the next day Perhaps they have them for teetotalers, I don't know Every man I have met in a pub or club has had disastrous consequences. xxxx

choublak

I used to go to the Starbucks in the Barnes and Noble bookstores, back when I had that kind of time and money, haha. One day I was in there and some guy wearing a Burger King crown started following me around. I guess he thought he was being subtle but it was actually quite the opposite. It weirded me out and I left.

jaynie04

I was looking at all of the athletes at the Olympics the other night and thinking what a blast that must be. I would imagine it is an "all you can eat buffet of healthy men"…oops didn't mean it THAT way. If I was ever single again I guess I could take up curling at age 48 and be a curling cougar..

pixilation

I'm going to revisit this as I've had some time to think about it.

Basically, I'm scared. If I call him my boyfriend, the broken/codie/abused part of my brain will latch onto that. And I'm afraid of what will happen at that point. As it is, mild yelling(not at me, a video game or at traffic) elicits a panic response from me. If I even think he's mad at me, for whatever reason, I shut down. That one I really need to get help with.

So, the guy I spend nearly every weekend night with, the guy who helped me cook a big Indian dinner for his parents last night, is just a "friend".

choublak

Indian dinner? Curious, are his parents Indian?

And does HE consider you his girlfriend or his friend?

pixilation

No, not Indian, but I don't get much of a chance to cook big dinners, and he wanted to do it for his parents. And I LOVE their kitchen. LOL and I wanted to try my hand at Indian cuisine, turned out fantastic actually.

And well, he calls me his weekend wife(jokingly of course). It's working for us, I don't want to screw it up, kwim?

Stung

I like weekend wife, that's cute! I used to call my now husband my Pre-fiancé when we were dating still. Lol I'm obviously the opposite of you.

AnvilheadII

the best I got is.......don't LOOK. the more we are just US, doing our thing, in our own element, the more who we really are is projected. when we are looking, on the hunt, we wear our hunting gear, we spiff up, add stuff, continually cover up who we REALLY are....we try to minimize our "faults" - those things that make us uniquely us....enhance this, cover up that, and what do we have? somebody who is not us.....

kinda like meeting a guy who seems sooo cool, so nice, so this that and the other thing, only OOPSIE he was HIDING his drink or drug problem. how DARE he? what do we call them? sociopaths? liars? fakes?

today, after work on my way home, NO makeup (haven't worn it for years), 54, overdue for a hair color, jeans, blouse...at 7-11....I got the up and down from the guy ahead of me in line. (yes it helps I've recently lost 20 pounds and firmed up). i had done nothing to try and make myself stand out, or shine up, i just wanted to get some smokes and then do the 50 minute drive home....to hank and the dogs.

Thumper

I don't know how these things happen for other people. I'm the tallest invisible chic on the planet, lol. It is SUCH a mystery to me, honestly.

You go about your daily life and - boom - someone shows an interest in you and - boom - you start dating that someone?

Perhaps this is just not the 'season' for that the happen for me but jeez - this season of life is to long. It isn't fun anymore. It barely feels tolerable. I'm tired of it :P

Hammer

Hawt or Not? Let's run your numbers?

Work is a good thing.

Hawt.

Younger has been a PITA, lately, nothing wrong with the other direction.

Good. Dye jobs are scary.

Yeah.


hmmm, after some anorexia, meat on the bones is not bad.


Way cool. Bling, Bling = Hood Rat.

doooohhhhhh!

AnvilheadII

no bling for this chick...jewelry bothers me...haven't worn any since I took my wedding ring off 11 years ago.

but back to the topic...I think someone above mentioned how often her sweetie gets checked out....there is a confidence and security that often exudes from the TAKEN. maybe it's that "can't touch this" mystique. read that NOT NEEDY.

when we are looking, on the hunt...we expose a NEEDY side...what kind of person is that going to attract??? the vultures...the predators...looking for that injured wildebeest.......when I was desperate and needy I couldn't catch a cold....had to make do with the one night stands or fly bys....really awesome for the self esteem. NOT.

I think we do ourselves a disservice when we think we NEED a partner, a love interest, someone to have on the string. we are telling ourselves we are incomplete without the other. and we are looking to someone else to fulfill us.

Thumper

I don't think that is always the case. Sometimes we just want that. It is not abnormal or unhealthy to want an intimate relationship.

There is a difference between wanting something and thinking we need it. :shrug: Maybe not. Obviously I don't have it so perhaps I'm sending out pathetic and needy vibes and don't even know it. haha.