Good update
 

Sorry for all the threads-- just thought that this positive focussed one merited its own spot.

Having addressed the utter b.s. crap nonsense that happened yesterday and letting you all know that... here's the good news:

I'm not a sit down, take no action, cry and wallow (okay maybe some wallowing and crying) kind of person. I feel better when I am taking action. And thanks to SR and recovery stuff I have learned (the hard way at times) that taking action that keeps the drama going - fighting back so to speak, does me no good at all.

Instead, I am taking action to take control of what I can. And that's the job search.

So, positive action I took last night and the outcome thus far....

I have a friend who has told me for a year or so to apply at a charter school in the next town to ours where her kids go. I did send a resume last summer despite there not being open positions and never heard anything. This winter I got a call (xAH actually took it when he was at the house and relayed a half-a$$ message to me) from the Principal/Director of the school asking if I was interested in long term subbing. I didn't call back bc I was working in my current job and I sort of forgot about it. Fast forward to last night. I messaged my friend Maureen about my job loss and she again told me to email Beth about a job (Beth is the principal). I drafted an email, outlined my experience, reminded her I'd previously sent my resume (which she told xAH evidently was very strong and she wanted me to work for her this winter) and re-attached the resume telling her I would be interested, if it were an option, to discuss any possible positions or even subbing. I started my teaching career in a charter school similar to the one she runs with a focus on character education and literacy and only left there to get married (brilliant move- not!). I said that to her too (minus the marriage part!).

Not 20 min later (this is at 9:30 last night) she emailed me back. She said and I quote:

I replied and said that Sat did work and she responded that she was so glad it would work out and is eager to meet me in person and discuss the position.

Pretty good ending to a horrific day I'd say!

How pinkfantabulous!

It is amazing how applying recovery in all aspects of our lives - by doing
The Next Right Thing

can allow for miracles to happen -

wishing you the best on the meeting!!

pink hugs!

WOW. I knew stuff like that would be out there, but how cool is it to have something turn up so FAST? That's sort of how I felt my first week of retirement when I opened my email and found the job listing for the job I now have--I think I applied for it about 15 minutes after I got the job announcement. I had my resume already updated, a writing sample ready to go, and a link to a video of an important oral argument I had presented a month or two previously--sort of like having an audition tape.

NOTHING was going to keep me away from that job--right after I sent the email I found a typo in the subject line of the email I had sent applying for the job, and I almost showed up for an in-person interview that was actually scheduled for a phone interview (the email inviting me left out the fact that it was a phone interview). In spite of all the obstacles, God or somebody wanted me to have this job.

I have a really good feeling about this. Keep us posted!

If nothing else it most definitely took away a good amount of the shame and pathetic-ness I felt after getting told I wasn't wanted back.

That kind of news would hurt even someone with a strong ego and mine frankly is about as fragile as a delicate vase right about now.

On a slightly separate note, I haven't even begun to think how xAH will use this (or try to) to show he is better suited to have the girls full time since in my state they make no bones about the fact that ability to provide financially IS a factor in custody... I'm hoping to find something before I have to actually tell xAH I won't have a job next year... Anyone with experience in this respect feel free to share...

That is AMAZING!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!

Talk to your lawyer about when info about employment HAS to be updated. My guess is that until/unless you are literally unemployed, there is no obligation to update anything. And anyway, both parties are equally responsible for supporting the children. The way it works in most states is that each party must contribute a share proportionate to their income. If one party is intentionally unemployed or underemployed, that might make a difference, but otherwise, it should have minimal impact.

It is not a requirement that you share details of your life with your xAH. The less said about your life to him, the better. You need only discuss your children with him - pretty simple actually, it's hard to remember to follow it though!

As Ms Pink Acres mentioned, doing The Next Right Thing can bring about miracles. As you mentioned in your post, running about-trying to "fix" may not always be The Next Right Thing. Sometimes it involves stepping back and keeping still.

Have been following your story here; this is GREAT! So inspiring to hear how you handled things, so EXCITING to hear about your new start!

It's great that you did the right thing, and even though it looked like it didn't turn out well, it really DID turn out well in the end. Once again, we can't see all ends, but faith and doing the right thing will eventually pay off.

A zillion, zillion best wishes and hugs!

That is wonderful news!!!! I'm sure you will give a killer interview! :)

When one door shuts, another opens! Well played, WTBH! Fingers crossed and prayers for you today.
~T