Rehab Again
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Southwest
Posts: 1,207
"I don't like the way this makes me feel." is really, really telling, Florence.
You may need to be NC to get your own sense of balance back with all these "well-meaning" friends and family members trying to drag you into the drama.
You may need to be NC to get your own sense of balance back with all these "well-meaning" friends and family members trying to drag you into the drama.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
No words of wisdom from me, sorry - in fact, I am taking those from you...
Just sending you e-hopes for strength, and the knowledge that you have a TON of support here. We are all very proud of - and inspired by you!
Just sending you e-hopes for strength, and the knowledge that you have a TON of support here. We are all very proud of - and inspired by you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
Florence, i personally just don't see WHY you need to embroiled in any of this. this ain't his first rehab, you've been separated for many months, if the damn counselors at this fancy rehab are worth their salt, they don't need outside input to assess and proceed with his treatment!!! he's not a little boy anymore - if his parents choose to still treat him as such, that's their indulgence - but for them to bother you with best next steps is, well, offensive, to me.
it was OBVIOUS when you brought up the sneaking the laptop/cellphone thing in just how serious he wasn't taking this. it's just another road show for him, rules don't really apply, and he still approaches life at an embarrassing level of immaturity. not surprising since his folks seem determined to keep him incapable and dependent.......
it was OBVIOUS when you brought up the sneaking the laptop/cellphone thing in just how serious he wasn't taking this. it's just another road show for him, rules don't really apply, and he still approaches life at an embarrassing level of immaturity. not surprising since his folks seem determined to keep him incapable and dependent.......
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 391
"I have been backing off over time and see the massive changes and improvements in my life thanks to doing so."
Florence,
I don't think I can offer you any wisdom that you haven't already expressed in this very thread. You always offer such spot-on and thoughtful responses to others' posts on this board.
You've lived this. I think if you believe that he is on a rapid downward spiral - then you are quite likely right. I know that it is a hard thing to accept and your codie brain is trying to distort your rational thought and what the logical brain knows to be true.
"I want this out of my life. I don't want to be responsible for him. I don't like the way this makes me feel."
Pretty clearly stated wouldn't you say?
I know that this saying is so cliche - but this is your one life. It is not a dress rehearsal. No one else lives in your skin, in your head. I wonder if your temptation to defend your decision to leave him or your quest for validation stems from a distorted perception about what others believe. Isn't it only the enablers and those who don't want to face the reality of his disease who would not be able to see why you need to do what is best for you? Do you genuinely value their judgements?
Let me tell you who's judgement I value........YOURS!
Trust yourself.
Sending you lots of support and hugs.
MamaKit
Florence,
I don't think I can offer you any wisdom that you haven't already expressed in this very thread. You always offer such spot-on and thoughtful responses to others' posts on this board.
You've lived this. I think if you believe that he is on a rapid downward spiral - then you are quite likely right. I know that it is a hard thing to accept and your codie brain is trying to distort your rational thought and what the logical brain knows to be true.
"I want this out of my life. I don't want to be responsible for him. I don't like the way this makes me feel."
Pretty clearly stated wouldn't you say?
I know that this saying is so cliche - but this is your one life. It is not a dress rehearsal. No one else lives in your skin, in your head. I wonder if your temptation to defend your decision to leave him or your quest for validation stems from a distorted perception about what others believe. Isn't it only the enablers and those who don't want to face the reality of his disease who would not be able to see why you need to do what is best for you? Do you genuinely value their judgements?
Let me tell you who's judgement I value........YOURS!
Trust yourself.
Sending you lots of support and hugs.
MamaKit
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Dear florence, It l ooks like you are coming to the only reasonable option for yourself.
I predict that the family will change their tune after they have had him on their shoulders, alone. I think this is an oft-told story. They are likely protecting their own dog in the fight (their own guilt and enabling).
You simply can't worry about their reactions--you only have so much energy (what they think of you is none of your business--LOL). You have been through a l ot with his disease and your energy should be focused back onto You where it belongs.
You have made tremendous strides. Don't doubt yourself--hold tight, florence.
Just talk to those who have been through this and understand.
Serenity prayer;Serenity prayer
sincerely, dandylion
I predict that the family will change their tune after they have had him on their shoulders, alone. I think this is an oft-told story. They are likely protecting their own dog in the fight (their own guilt and enabling).
You simply can't worry about their reactions--you only have so much energy (what they think of you is none of your business--LOL). You have been through a l ot with his disease and your energy should be focused back onto You where it belongs.
You have made tremendous strides. Don't doubt yourself--hold tight, florence.
Just talk to those who have been through this and understand.
Serenity prayer;Serenity prayer
sincerely, dandylion
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