We could use some help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 20
We could use some help
Good morning everyone,
After dealing with a SA issue in my own family, we now have to turn outward and face one within my immediate family.
I have a SIL that has an alcohol problem, an extreme one that has led to neglect of her children. Our concern is she has a husband who partakes in the same vice, but not to her extent.
We want to stage some type of intervention for their benefit, but also for their 3 little girls.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get the help of a third party to moderate and lead an intervention?
After dealing with a SA issue in my own family, we now have to turn outward and face one within my immediate family.
I have a SIL that has an alcohol problem, an extreme one that has led to neglect of her children. Our concern is she has a husband who partakes in the same vice, but not to her extent.
We want to stage some type of intervention for their benefit, but also for their 3 little girls.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get the help of a third party to moderate and lead an intervention?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
I personally would put those little girls first and fore most and get family services involved. Those kids don't have a voice someone needs to be their voice. And who knows, maybe that may lead to some help in addressing the alcohol problems with the adults.
The few interventions I've heard about with people I know, didn't work out so well. Defensiveness then alienation towards those that tried to help wear the result. The drinking didn’t stop but the friendships did.
The few interventions I've heard about with people I know, didn't work out so well. Defensiveness then alienation towards those that tried to help wear the result. The drinking didn’t stop but the friendships did.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Generally, many Adults are REQUIRED BY LAW to get Child Protective Services involved, on even simple reports.
Tell a Teacher AND/OR Scout Leader AND/OR any sort of Social Worker AND/OR Church Leadership about Sexual Abuse of children. They are required to report even if you are mushing around. Add Alcoholic Parents and CPS tends to come in with a Flame Thrower.
On the backside be prepared to help give/get the kids a home and help.
Tell a Teacher AND/OR Scout Leader AND/OR any sort of Social Worker AND/OR Church Leadership about Sexual Abuse of children. They are required to report even if you are mushing around. Add Alcoholic Parents and CPS tends to come in with a Flame Thrower.
On the backside be prepared to help give/get the kids a home and help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
I looked into an intervention last fall for my ABF. Professional Interventionists are not cheap. You can find one by contacting local treatment facilities, or addiction counselors in your area. I'm sure you can google them too, but I'd get a reference from a treatment facility. They will educate the parties involved, arrange treatment, and facilitate the actual intervention.
Here's the tricky part about an intervention. Everyone involved has to be on board. Treatment is arranged and waiting. While the intervention itself tries to keep a positive focus, this is being done out of love and concern, consequences have to be clear. Each person has to address what will happen if the addict refuses treatment. IF they do refuse, then all involved have to follow through on their boundaries. If you say you're not going to be involved anymore, then you have to be willing to carry through. Interventions often times don't work because family/friends are not able to set and keep boundaries....and the addict will test that. Even if the addict does agree to treatment, they can leave 1 day later if they choose. Will family still hold those boundaries?
I think if there are kids involved, contacting Family Services first may be more helpful.
Here's the tricky part about an intervention. Everyone involved has to be on board. Treatment is arranged and waiting. While the intervention itself tries to keep a positive focus, this is being done out of love and concern, consequences have to be clear. Each person has to address what will happen if the addict refuses treatment. IF they do refuse, then all involved have to follow through on their boundaries. If you say you're not going to be involved anymore, then you have to be willing to carry through. Interventions often times don't work because family/friends are not able to set and keep boundaries....and the addict will test that. Even if the addict does agree to treatment, they can leave 1 day later if they choose. Will family still hold those boundaries?
I think if there are kids involved, contacting Family Services first may be more helpful.
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