please help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 59
please help
My family member drinks 4 or 5 times in a week everyday at night almost does this make her an alcoholic she says it doesnt cause she only drinks at night not all day how doi make her see that she needs help???
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: gold coast
Posts: 101
Read this forum and learn. You cannot make someone realise till they find this is a problem themselves. 3c's you didn't cause it you can't control it you can't cure it. Welcome to SR and keeping reading and get support
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Alli,
I'm sorry but we don't have the power to change another person. Step one of the Anon programs teaches us: We were powerless over ________ and our lives had become unmanageable.
I learned here about the 3 C's of my loved ones addiction:
I did not Cause it
I can not Control it
I will not Cure it
In my experience, the best way to handle a family member's drinking is to detach and to physically remove myself from the active drinking periods.
Alanon can help you learn tools to deal with life with a loved ones alcoholism.
I'm sorry but we don't have the power to change another person. Step one of the Anon programs teaches us: We were powerless over ________ and our lives had become unmanageable.
I learned here about the 3 C's of my loved ones addiction:
I did not Cause it
I can not Control it
I will not Cure it
In my experience, the best way to handle a family member's drinking is to detach and to physically remove myself from the active drinking periods.
Alanon can help you learn tools to deal with life with a loved ones alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Alli,
When I was introduced to alcoholism began understanding it, attending al-anon meetings I was hypervigilant to everyone around me and their drinking. I assumed everyone was an alcoholic because of how this disease affected my life. I made assumptions all the time until I learned more.
If she is or isn’t as dessy said there is really nothing you can do to help her except share your own concerns then leave it at that.
When I was introduced to alcoholism began understanding it, attending al-anon meetings I was hypervigilant to everyone around me and their drinking. I assumed everyone was an alcoholic because of how this disease affected my life. I made assumptions all the time until I learned more.
If she is or isn’t as dessy said there is really nothing you can do to help her except share your own concerns then leave it at that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 59
I understand what u guys r saying but because I use to do drugs but I also stop drinking being around that doesnt help me plus she always wants me to drink with her whenever I try to explain yi cant she calls me names she thinks its a joke but to me its not
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South central USA
Posts: 11
Alli19, you are in control of your own destiny. The only thing you have power over is yourself. What kind of person do you want to be?
If you want to be a clean and sober, emotionally stable person, then I recommend that you attend Al-Anon meetings.
If you want to be a clean and sober, emotionally stable person, then I recommend that you attend Al-Anon meetings.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
You may not understand this but she is not your friend right now not if she is calling you names because of healthy choices you have made for yourself. A real friend would support your decision and encourage you. Just because she is family doesn’t mean you are obligated to have to be her friend right now. That doesn’t mean you don’t care or love her it just means at this very moment in time you love yourself more and your well being needs to come first.
Kind of like when you are in an airplane and they go over the emergency procedures, you need to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else.
Kind of like when you are in an airplane and they go over the emergency procedures, you need to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
Originally Posted by alli19 
My family member drinks 4 or 5 times in a week everyday at night almost does this make her an alcoholic she says it doesnt cause she only drinks at night not all day how doi make her see that she needs help???
Does her drinking cause other issues, personality changes?
It's obviously causing you discomfort.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by alli19
My family member drinks 4 or 5 times in a week everyday at night almost does this make her an alcoholic she says it doesnt cause she only drinks at night not all day how doi make her see that she needs help???
Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Alli - your focus should be on yourself and your own sobriety rather than on hers. As the other posters have stated you can't do anything about her. You can do for yourself however, perhaps its time to look for other living arrangements.
Changing people places and things is imperative usually to successful long term sobriety.
Changing people places and things is imperative usually to successful long term sobriety.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by atalose
Alli,
When I was introduced to alcoholism began understanding it, attending al-anon meetings I was hypervigilant to everyone around me and their drinking. I assumed everyone was an alcoholic because of how this disease affected my life. I made assumptions all the time until I learned more.
If she is or isn’t as dessy said there is really nothing you can do to help her except share your own concerns then leave it at that.
When I was introduced to alcoholism began understanding it, attending al-anon meetings I was hypervigilant to everyone around me and their drinking. I assumed everyone was an alcoholic because of how this disease affected my life. I made assumptions all the time until I learned more.
If she is or isn’t as dessy said there is really nothing you can do to help her except share your own concerns then leave it at that.
That said, to the original poster...you can't control the other person. You can only control your actions, reactions, behavior, and what you do.
Little by slowly, you will make progress. Time takes time...so give the time the time it needs. Focus on you...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
