This is my 3rd attempt to tell my life

Old 03-28-2013, 06:18 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Geppster, welcome to SR!

Going to Al-Anon is for us; because alcoholism is a family disease and we are all affected by it. Your kids may even be interested in Ala-Teen. They carry the same scars you do, in their own way.

Posting here and going to Al-Anon are great first steps. It allows us to slowly walk toward our own solutions, instead of trying to force solutions that may not be to our benefit. I can guarantee the problems here are much deeper than just putting the bottle down. Take it all one day at a time. Decide not to engage in his drunken arguments. And possibly try a bucket next to the bed?!

Keep posting and keep coming back!
~T
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Old 03-28-2013, 07:28 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Dear Gebbster, think of it this way. We become damaged by living with the active alcoholic and we suffer terribly. They drink and we suffer. Even though alanon is for helping us, many angrily refuse to go: "Why should I go to a program when he is the one with the problem?!!" This is like a person who is struck by a car and suffers a broken leg---yet, refuses to go to the hospital because it was the CAR that caused it!

Someone posted this on this forum once---Regretfully, I don't remember who.

sincerely, dandylion
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Old 03-28-2013, 07:52 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Oh Geppster, I feel your pain. I feel like I'm reading about myself. I've been married almost 22 years to a functioning AH. My kids are the same age. The best thing I did for them was to take them to a family program that a rehab center held for the family living with an alcoholic. I know we are a lot better off since going. I hope that you can find one in your area perhaps. We drove 7 hours to get to ours, but it was well worth it. I know alanon also has programs for teens, and also maybe talking with a counselor who is familiar with addiction and the family may be a help too. Try an alanon meeting, try more than one, they all seem a little different. I too struggled with going for a long time due to the same feelings you had...why should I if he's not?? But, it will help, you will see your not alone and that in itself is a big comfort. Read too- get some books on codepedency and read! information is your best friend. The anger you feel is totally natural, but maybe with the info. you can learn to redirect it some at the disease itself. I feel for you and wish I could give you a big hug. So I will send you one instead. Hang in there.
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Old 03-28-2013, 08:31 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by geppster View Post
I have heard good things, I just have been so reluctant to attend. I don't understand how they get you to redirect the focus on me and lead a happy/peaceful life. I would love that. It just seems impossible with the way my life has been these 20 years. We have a shed....I just want him to move into the shed so we don't have to see him drinking. That would be so nice.
I think that about our shed too.lol nice thought
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