You've tried everything to help your alcoholic/addict...
 

...to no avail. Why, then, won't you try everything to help yourself?


Disclaimer: I understand this doesn't apply to everybody.

Because I was under the illusion that all that what was wrong with me was his drinking! :)

Oh yes! If he gets better, then I will too! Problem solved!

That thinking had kept me stuck longer then I ever realized!

MY problem was HIS drinking, or so I thought. I had a lot to learn......

I thought he drank because of me. And I DID do everything to help myself, finally. Remove me from the equation, and he's still drinking.

So, I'm glad to know I wasn't that omniscient person who pored beer down his throat all the time, like I was lead to believe.

Excellent question...and I don't have a good answer! My EXCUSE has been that it's been easier to focus all my efforts on the A in my life than to focus on myself. Flying my caretaker-codie flag high...

I can't put it any better than LoveMeNow did:

Oh yes! If he gets better, then I will too! Problem solved!

That thinking had kept me stuck longer then I ever realized!

So, ditto that!

MamaKit

There wasn't anything wrong with ME. I was the sane, strong, smart, logical one. I just needed to convince him how smart I was and get him to go along with my plan.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
I can laugh at my insanity now.

In my experience, alcoholics can be a black hole that suck up all the time, attention, and resources. ALL the focus was on him and his failures, excuses, and inconsistencies. I didn't realize I was broken too, and that I deserved some of those resources myself.

Once he was out of the house, it was striking to realize just how little oxygen the rest of us had been living on.

Yeah, pretty much....