Help!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 718
Listen to the strong wonderful people, hon. I have been there too and I am going thru it again... right now. I fell for another sweet guy... but a guy who has a problem. He may not think so, but it's a problem for me.
I would like nothing better than to say .....and he changed, stopped drinking, stopped the addictive behaviors and we lived happily ever after...but didn't happen in my marriage to an addict and won't happen this time with someone is either. This is all so sad, but the reality is we can only take care of ourselves and do what is right for us.
Go now sweetie... just like I am. Life is so good and too short to waste with this stuff. Hugs
I would like nothing better than to say .....and he changed, stopped drinking, stopped the addictive behaviors and we lived happily ever after...but didn't happen in my marriage to an addict and won't happen this time with someone is either. This is all so sad, but the reality is we can only take care of ourselves and do what is right for us.
Go now sweetie... just like I am. Life is so good and too short to waste with this stuff. Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 8
Thank you. You are right about it being sad. I saw him last night and we had a lovely alcohol free evening and he seemed to enjoy himself too but spoke to him tonight and he's as pissed as a fart again, saying that I am over reacting and over exaggerating!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Originally Posted by rachael1880 
Thank you. You are right about it being sad. I saw him last night and we had a lovely alcohol free evening and he seemed to enjoy himself too but spoke to him tonight and he's as pissed as a fart again, saying that I am over reacting and over exaggerating!
As we said before, RUN!!
Attended By a Single Hound
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: England
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by TrustTheProcess
Addiction is not a romantic love song, it is hell on earth. We are not victims of addiction, all of us made the choice to believe in the good, the choice to stay.
This is your choice, it will most likely impact your entire life. This life is the only one you have
This is your choice, it will most likely impact your entire life. This life is the only one you have
Originally Posted by rachael1880
Thank you. You are right about it being sad. I saw him last night and we had a lovely alcohol free evening and he seemed to enjoy himself too but spoke to him tonight and he's as pissed as a fart again, saying that I am over reacting and over exaggerating!
Hope you're doing alright, Rachel. Keep posting and stay strong.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 8
Still seeing the same guy and he does manage to go 2 days a week without a drink but will drink over 20 units in one night! More of a binge drinker I think but he doesn't think it's a problem!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 199
Rachael, please listen to all these good people and their wisdom. What you're describing -- him saying you're nagging and exaggerating and you focusing on the good sober days and counting how few and shortlived they are -- will only get worse.
I've been right where you are, wanting the good side -- and there seemed to be a very good side -- of my exABF to "win out." He is showing you who he is in his actions and the way he talks to you. You aren't "strong" by staying.
Please listen to them. There is infinite wisdom here.
I've been right where you are, wanting the good side -- and there seemed to be a very good side -- of my exABF to "win out." He is showing you who he is in his actions and the way he talks to you. You aren't "strong" by staying.
Please listen to them. There is infinite wisdom here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 199
I just thought of something else.
Me telling you to run when you're not ready (or not sure) is eerily like all I'd us telling our A's not to drink and to work on recovery.
I think part of you wants to run though. You came here. You asked for "Help!".
Don't listen to us. Listen to yourself, I think part of you knows in the asking.
Me telling you to run when you're not ready (or not sure) is eerily like all I'd us telling our A's not to drink and to work on recovery.
I think part of you wants to run though. You came here. You asked for "Help!".
Don't listen to us. Listen to yourself, I think part of you knows in the asking.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
He has to see it and he has to get help. RUN!
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Originally Posted by rachael1880
I have been seeing my boyfriend for 3 months now and all was grand and rosy to start with as he didn't drink for the first month or so and he said he hadn't drank for a while but now he drinks a whole bottle of wine plus some bottles of beer almost every night of the week, often sitting up on his own drinking after I go to bed then he falls asleep on the couch and I have to get up and get him to come to bed. If I so much as mention that I think he has a problem he gets all defensive! How can I help, support and guide him without sounding like a nag?! Or maybe I can't and he has to see it for himself first!
Any help is much supported. Apart from this one massive thing we have a wonderful relationship!
Any help is much supported. Apart from this one massive thing we have a wonderful relationship!
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
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Don,t waste time on this,don,t give him anymore of energy,just get away. You,ve only known him 3 months. Not worth it.
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Don,t waste time on this,don,t give him anymore of energy,just get away. You,ve only known him 3 months. Not worth it.
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Originally Posted by rachael1880
Well so much for his I'll give it up for you for a while! He managed one lousy day! So disappointed, angry and let down
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