Bandepart

Thinking I would stay strong and not be consumed by worries and concern, I reached out once more in hopes she would see sense in how she's been treating me. No such luck. The excuses, the evasive answers, the secrecy. I was fooled once again.
We did speak today, but not without having to "fight" for it. Sighs.

I was trying to make her see sense that a relationship shouldn't be based on dishonesty, lies and deception. Nor should it be based upon when she sees it fit to talk with me, and what she is willing to share. Communication is a two-way street.
What then followed was the usual blaming circus, all the stress, family issues she is going through, all the crap she has to hear from me. If that's how you feel I told her, walk away. Now is your chance.

You decide to embrace an addiction in your life, with me, with us. I choose not to. I don't want your addiction to become the center of our relationship, as it has been in the past and future.
Without the alcohol she was everything to me. With the alcohol I was nothing to her.

I walked away. She chose to stay with her addiction.

GreenBeans

Bandepart, as difficult as it was to do, you did the right thing. If she cannot see what she is doing to herself and others around her, then she has no desire to change. Unfortunately, for those who don't change and cant see what they are doing, things only get worse for them (and the people around them).
I know you are hurting right now, but it will get better. Especially, when you see how nice things are when there is no alcoholic in the picture.
Take care ((hugs))

Recovering2

Communication is not a 2 way street with an active addict. What makes perfect sense to us does not enter into their realm of reality. She will do whatever it takes to protect her addiction. It's not a conscious decision on her part. If it was, then common sense would win. Your arguments fall on deaf ears. We've all been there. We look for those fleeting lucid moments, hoping to talk "sense" into them. It doesn't work.

All you can do is take care of yourself. That makes total sense.

Tuffgirl

She doesn't want to see anything.

It's what they do to protect their addictions. Of course, to you this makes perfect sense. But she is not rational or logical as an alcoholic. Save your oxygen, Bandepart.

~T

stella27

She will see when she sees, and when she does, it won't be because you pointed it out to her. I tried that for so so so many years.

Bandepart

Thank you all for your support and words of wisdom. Today I have been so upset and angry for the hurt, for the conditional love, and for the total selfishness. At the same time it deeply saddens me to see the decline in her health, physically and mentally. I am powerless. The power is within her and hopefully within reach.

Bandepart

Thank you all for listening and for sharing your stories.

All the best, Bandepart

Recognition is knowledge