the bottom line
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
the bottom line
We wonder when or if the alcoholic will bottom out.
I think the better question is when do we?
When you start to analyze everything. Really analyze it.
Its grotesque the things we put up with.
Ah has a follow up with a dr later but for now his dr has him on 3 diff meds because he started coughing up blood.
You would think it would push him in the right direction. Nope.
He did quit for a period of two weeks recently but started right back up and now this
And when looking at the past. Hes had moment afte moment . Reason after reason
And yet he still goes back or keeps drinking.
Its sad and today after the drs visit we talked and he told me what happened (meds etc)
He then said he was going to the store (for you guessed it)
I flipped a lid.
There is so much from the past and now and nothing has really motivated him to want to be sober. The key word here. I thought he was and I was wrong and am learning to tell the difference between when they really want to quit or bs arpund it.
Venting a bit. Just sad and tired as heck
I think the better question is when do we?
When you start to analyze everything. Really analyze it.
Its grotesque the things we put up with.
Ah has a follow up with a dr later but for now his dr has him on 3 diff meds because he started coughing up blood.
You would think it would push him in the right direction. Nope.
He did quit for a period of two weeks recently but started right back up and now this
And when looking at the past. Hes had moment afte moment . Reason after reason
And yet he still goes back or keeps drinking.
Its sad and today after the drs visit we talked and he told me what happened (meds etc)
He then said he was going to the store (for you guessed it)
I flipped a lid.
There is so much from the past and now and nothing has really motivated him to want to be sober. The key word here. I thought he was and I was wrong and am learning to tell the difference between when they really want to quit or bs arpund it.
Venting a bit. Just sad and tired as heck
Dear lonelygirl.......do you feel like you are getting close to bottoming out yourself?
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Bottoms--emotional bottoms--are painful by nature. There is no way AROUND the pain, we just have to get through it--those painful realizations, and the hopelessness of continuing as we have been.
The good news, though, is that once we HAVE worked it through, and our vision becomes clearer, so do our options. We have options we never saw, possibilities we never contemplated. It isn't all clear sailing ahead, but we start to see through the fog and can begin our plan to navigate the waters.
Keep breathing, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. It gets better.
The good news, though, is that once we HAVE worked it through, and our vision becomes clearer, so do our options. We have options we never saw, possibilities we never contemplated. It isn't all clear sailing ahead, but we start to see through the fog and can begin our plan to navigate the waters.
Keep breathing, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. It gets better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
Excellent question, 'when do we hit our bottom'. I wonder whether there aren't several different bottoms as we descend towards some difficult realizations. I had the bottom where I saw really how out of control AH's drinking had become. And then he was so terrifying in his behavior towards me that I hit a different bottom - the one where I saw that I had too much fear to share my life with him again. Then I saw that losing his rights to share a home with the children was not enough to keep him from waking up from the fog he's in. Then the bottom of seeing that he had very little control over our finances or insurances. Last night I was facing the bottom that even after meeting with lawyers and being given the knowledge of how much is at stake - he denies everything.
Bottom is a complex and difficult place. It actually I think is more like a series of rooms in a cave.
No wonder many of us choose denial for so long.
But the sooner we face the scary depths, the quicker we can come up with a way out.
It does hurt. But it is what it is and we owe it to ourselves the opportunity to fight our way out to the sunshine at last.
I am not there by any means. This cave turns out to be moredeep and vast than I wanted to believe. But I don't see that there's any other choice than to get out!
Have courage, lonely girl!!!
Bottom is a complex and difficult place. It actually I think is more like a series of rooms in a cave.
No wonder many of us choose denial for so long.
But the sooner we face the scary depths, the quicker we can come up with a way out.
It does hurt. But it is what it is and we owe it to ourselves the opportunity to fight our way out to the sunshine at last.
I am not there by any means. This cave turns out to be moredeep and vast than I wanted to believe. But I don't see that there's any other choice than to get out!
Have courage, lonely girl!!!
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